{"id":636,"date":"2007-03-08T22:13:41","date_gmt":"2007-03-09T03:13:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/192.168.1.99:8888\/blog\/2007\/03\/08\/1173410021451.html"},"modified":"2007-03-08T22:13:41","modified_gmt":"2007-03-09T03:13:41","slug":"blogentry-scrubs-quotes-my-fishbowl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blog.morinfamily.com\/?p=636","title":{"rendered":"[BlogEntry] Scrubs Quotes : My Fishbowl"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Pretty awesome episode, even though it did have that sort of Friends &#034;all of them in a room&#034; vibe.&nbsp; I liked the twist of the janitor kind of being part of it, but not really, by being stuck outside the door.&nbsp; Some of it was stupid, of course &#8211; suddenly Carla is a stand up comedian?&nbsp; Just like friends, when all of a sudden Rachel is a gossip or Monica is a photographer.&nbsp; Stuff they just throw into a single episode without bothering with years of continuity.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><iframe align=&#034;right&#034; src=&#034;http:\/\/rcm.amazon.com\/e\/cm?t=suchstuff-20&#038;o=1&#038;p=8&#038;l=as1&#038;asins=B000002LOE&#038;fc1=000000&#038;IS2=1&#038;lt1=_blank&#038;lc1=0000FF&#038;bc1=000000&#038;bg1=FFFFFF&#038;f=ifr&#034; style=&#034;width:120px;height:240px;&#034; scrolling=&#034;no&#034; marginwidth=&#034;0&#034; marginheight=&#034;0&#034; frameborder=&#034;0&#034;><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><em>Anyway.&nbsp; Can I just say goddamn how awesome is REM&#039;s Out of Time?&nbsp; I had truly forgotten just how fall down on the floor stare at the television with your jaw hanging open awesome a song like &#034;Half A World Away&#034; is.&nbsp; I have to go dig that CD up out of my collection right now and get it onto the iPod.&nbsp; There are some forgotten gems on there.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>That picture&#039;s so old, the beaches are still segregated.&nbsp; Look, there&#039;s us way in the back.&nbsp; Doesn&#039;t that bother you?<br \/>&nbsp; God, I&#039;m stunning.<\/p>\n<p>That is both very sad and not the least bit shocking.<\/p>\n<p>So you want me to start with how I still can&#039;t walk normally and then segway into an anecdote about how you played my tush like&nbsp;a bongo until I cried out in pleasurepain?<br \/>&nbsp; Sorry?<br \/>Your army buddies are gonna see it, I assume you want it filthy.<br \/>&nbsp; No, filthy&#039;s cool.<\/p>\n<p>You would hear crickets chirping but they were all too uncomfortable about just how unfunny that actually was.<\/p>\n<p>Barbie is funniest when she&#039;s an anal retentive train wreck.&nbsp; Your husband sells it with a cocky attitude.<br \/>&nbsp; Well ya know, I do what I do and I do what I do.<br \/>The janitor is amusing because quite frankly, he&#039;s insane.<br \/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I made shoes for my rabbit.<br \/>And Alice here, well, she can turn a phrase.&nbsp; I assume that because I just called you Alice, you are now fantasizing about me being the maid in the Brady Bunch.&nbsp; Am I right?<br \/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; He was.<br \/>Now sadly, some people just aren&#039;t funny.&nbsp; But!&nbsp; They&#039;ve got funny names.&nbsp; For example:&nbsp; Dr. Beardface, Dr. Mickhead, Colonel Doctor, and Snoop Dogg Intern.<br \/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Hey!<br \/>My bad, Snoop Dogg Resident.&nbsp; The Todd is a sexual deviant, Laverne&nbsp;believes in God which is hilarious to me, and Ted is the hospital sad sack.<br \/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I am?<br \/>Yes.<br \/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Awwwww.<br \/>And me?&nbsp; I&#039;m funny because I commit. C-O-MM-I-TTTTT&#8230;T.T&#8230;TTTT.TTTT&#8230;&#8230;T.&nbsp; I also do funny rants.&nbsp; To tell you the truth there&#039;s only one guy in this entire dump who&#039;s funny no matter what he says.<br \/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Holy Hell are my new boxers made out of wool?&nbsp; Cuz my weasel&#039;s getting heatstroke.<\/p>\n<p>Bitches leave!<br \/>&nbsp; It&#039;s go time.<br \/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Nononono, we&#039;re playing guess the movie quote.&nbsp; That was from Robocop.<\/p>\n<p>Hi Mrs. Blue, hi it&#039;s John Dorian, I dated your beautiful daughter Stacy when we were in college.&nbsp; She&#039;s dead?&nbsp; She fell asleep in the pool?<br \/>&nbsp; Oh my god.<br \/>Incidentally did she ever mention banging a black guy when she was in college?&nbsp; Had a high top fade like Kid N Play.&nbsp; Kid, Kid, Kid N Play, you know, they were a rap group.&nbsp; Your dead daughter loved them.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#039;t know if it&#039;s old age that&#039;s slowing me down or all that blood I lost last night fighting that hobo, but I just blew that.&nbsp; I should have said, You think my job is so unimportant that I can stand around all day holding a fish?<\/p>\n<p>Baby, remember?&nbsp; We&#039;re supposed to renew our relations tonight for the first time since Izzie was born.<\/p>\n<p>I was coming back from class and outside our room I heard, &#034;Oh my god, it&#039;s true what they say about black guys!&#034;&nbsp;So I opened the door.&nbsp; And I saw you and Stacy.&nbsp; So I said, &#034;Get off my girl before I kick your ass so deep, you gonna be crappin my Keds for a week!&#034; Then you said, &#034;Chill out, dawg, you know you my boyyy!&nbsp; This ain&#039;t be what it looks like, aight?&#034;&nbsp; But it wasn&#039;t aight, was it Turk?<\/p>\n<p>I&#039;m gonna smash it!&nbsp; He knows I&#039;m gonna smash it.&nbsp; He wants me to smash it.&nbsp; He wants to prove that I can&#039;t not smash it.&nbsp; It&#039;s a head game.&nbsp; You&#039;re not gonna win a head game with me, Dorian.&nbsp; Never.&nbsp; Never!<\/p>\n<p>Baby I had a big old lunch, now I got the downtown pushdown!<\/p>\n<p>If I wanted my patients to be more depressed I&#039;d just have them read newbie&#039;s latest blog entry.<br \/>&nbsp; &#034;Why Being Really Lonely Is Sometimes Super Awesome.&#034;<\/p>\n<p>I&#039;m never surprised by what people will do.&nbsp; Or for that matter, who they will do.<\/p>\n<p>A small child vomited downstairs, it smells like pickles and milk.&nbsp; Kind of like one of Enid&#039;s burps.&nbsp; Consider it a chance to prove yourself.<\/p>\n<p>How long have you been awake?<br \/>&nbsp; Long enough to know you need to fart, and Carla&#039;s not funny, and JD&#039;s imitation of a black guy is really racist.<br \/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; He be trippin!<\/p>\n<p>Not to worry, I&#039;m sure there&#039;s a huge demand out there for a high school grad who can&#039;t sign his name and gets confused by stuff that wouldn&#039;t phase a five year old.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, some admissions you don&#039;t see coming.<br \/>&nbsp; I once tried to kill myself.<\/p>\n<p>(After Elliot told us she&#039;d tried to commit suicide, I had to ask the question that was on everybody&#039;s mind.)&nbsp; &#034;Was it because I broke up with you?&#034;<\/p>\n<p>Well they both killed themselves.&nbsp; Plath stuck her head in the oven,&nbsp; but that was not an option for me because every time my head gets hot I need to pee and I was not about to be found lying in a puddle of my own urine.&nbsp; Not again, not after the prom fiasco.<\/p>\n<p>None of you guys have any idea what it feels like to feel this hopeless in your life.&nbsp; You know, other than JD.<\/p>\n<p>That&#039;s right.&nbsp; And my baby being happy is worth all the vaginal dryness in the world.<br \/>&nbsp; (And none of us would ever look at Carla the same way again.)<\/p>\n<p>If I&#039;d known back then you were just gonna go ahead and give up I would have saved myself a huge hassle, smothered you with a pillow and spent all my extra time catching up on newbie&#039;s pathetic blog.<br \/>&nbsp; (Oh my god he referenced me in a tough love speech.&nbsp; Stop smiling!)<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=&#034;http:\/\/www.morinfamily.com\/blog\/pages\/scrubs_quotes_episode_guide.html&#034;>More Scrubs Quotes<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Pretty awesome episode, even though it did have that sort of Friends &#034;all of them in a room&#034; vibe.&nbsp; I liked the twist of the janitor kind of being part of it, but not really, by being stuck outside the door.&nbsp; Some of it was stupid, of course &#8211; suddenly Carla is a stand up [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-636","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-scrubs","category-tv"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.morinfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/636","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.morinfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.morinfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.morinfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.morinfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=636"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/blog.morinfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/636\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.morinfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=636"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.morinfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=636"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.morinfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=636"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}