[BlogEntry] Scrubs Quotes : My Fishbowl

Pretty awesome episode, even though it did have that sort of Friends "all of them in a room" vibe.  I liked the twist of the janitor kind of being part of it, but not really, by being stuck outside the door.  Some of it was stupid, of course – suddenly Carla is a stand up comedian?  Just like friends, when all of a sudden Rachel is a gossip or Monica is a photographer.  Stuff they just throw into a single episode without bothering with years of continuity.

Anyway.  Can I just say goddamn how awesome is REM's Out of Time?  I had truly forgotten just how fall down on the floor stare at the television with your jaw hanging open awesome a song like "Half A World Away" is.  I have to go dig that CD up out of my collection right now and get it onto the iPod.  There are some forgotten gems on there.

 

That picture's so old, the beaches are still segregated.  Look, there's us way in the back.  Doesn't that bother you?
  God, I'm stunning.

That is both very sad and not the least bit shocking.

So you want me to start with how I still can't walk normally and then segway into an anecdote about how you played my tush like a bongo until I cried out in pleasurepain?
  Sorry?
Your army buddies are gonna see it, I assume you want it filthy.
  No, filthy's cool.

You would hear crickets chirping but they were all too uncomfortable about just how unfunny that actually was.

Barbie is funniest when she's an anal retentive train wreck.  Your husband sells it with a cocky attitude.
  Well ya know, I do what I do and I do what I do.
The janitor is amusing because quite frankly, he's insane.
    I made shoes for my rabbit.
And Alice here, well, she can turn a phrase.  I assume that because I just called you Alice, you are now fantasizing about me being the maid in the Brady Bunch.  Am I right?
      He was.
Now sadly, some people just aren't funny.  But!  They've got funny names.  For example:  Dr. Beardface, Dr. Mickhead, Colonel Doctor, and Snoop Dogg Intern.
        Hey!
My bad, Snoop Dogg Resident.  The Todd is a sexual deviant, Laverne believes in God which is hilarious to me, and Ted is the hospital sad sack.
          I am?
Yes.
          Awwwww.
And me?  I'm funny because I commit. C-O-MM-I-TTTTT…T.T…TTTT.TTTT……T.  I also do funny rants.  To tell you the truth there's only one guy in this entire dump who's funny no matter what he says.
            Holy Hell are my new boxers made out of wool?  Cuz my weasel's getting heatstroke.

Bitches leave!
  It's go time.
    Nononono, we're playing guess the movie quote.  That was from Robocop.

Hi Mrs. Blue, hi it's John Dorian, I dated your beautiful daughter Stacy when we were in college.  She's dead?  She fell asleep in the pool?
  Oh my god.
Incidentally did she ever mention banging a black guy when she was in college?  Had a high top fade like Kid N Play.  Kid, Kid, Kid N Play, you know, they were a rap group.  Your dead daughter loved them.

I don't know if it's old age that's slowing me down or all that blood I lost last night fighting that hobo, but I just blew that.  I should have said, You think my job is so unimportant that I can stand around all day holding a fish?

Baby, remember?  We're supposed to renew our relations tonight for the first time since Izzie was born.

I was coming back from class and outside our room I heard, "Oh my god, it's true what they say about black guys!" So I opened the door.  And I saw you and Stacy.  So I said, "Get off my girl before I kick your ass so deep, you gonna be crappin my Keds for a week!" Then you said, "Chill out, dawg, you know you my boyyy!  This ain't be what it looks like, aight?"  But it wasn't aight, was it Turk?

I'm gonna smash it!  He knows I'm gonna smash it.  He wants me to smash it.  He wants to prove that I can't not smash it.  It's a head game.  You're not gonna win a head game with me, Dorian.  Never.  Never!

Baby I had a big old lunch, now I got the downtown pushdown!

If I wanted my patients to be more depressed I'd just have them read newbie's latest blog entry.
  "Why Being Really Lonely Is Sometimes Super Awesome."

I'm never surprised by what people will do.  Or for that matter, who they will do.

A small child vomited downstairs, it smells like pickles and milk.  Kind of like one of Enid's burps.  Consider it a chance to prove yourself.

How long have you been awake?
  Long enough to know you need to fart, and Carla's not funny, and JD's imitation of a black guy is really racist.
    He be trippin!

Not to worry, I'm sure there's a huge demand out there for a high school grad who can't sign his name and gets confused by stuff that wouldn't phase a five year old.

Of course, some admissions you don't see coming.
  I once tried to kill myself.

(After Elliot told us she'd tried to commit suicide, I had to ask the question that was on everybody's mind.)  "Was it because I broke up with you?"

Well they both killed themselves.  Plath stuck her head in the oven,  but that was not an option for me because every time my head gets hot I need to pee and I was not about to be found lying in a puddle of my own urine.  Not again, not after the prom fiasco.

None of you guys have any idea what it feels like to feel this hopeless in your life.  You know, other than JD.

That's right.  And my baby being happy is worth all the vaginal dryness in the world.
  (And none of us would ever look at Carla the same way again.)

If I'd known back then you were just gonna go ahead and give up I would have saved myself a huge hassle, smothered you with a pillow and spent all my extra time catching up on newbie's pathetic blog.
  (Oh my god he referenced me in a tough love speech.  Stop smiling!)

 

More Scrubs Quotes

[Comment] Re: American Idol 3/1/07 : Who got kicked off?

sun dance i thnk got eleminatad

[Comment] Re: American Idol : Lyrics to Home, by Chris Daughtry

I'd ask if you were my cousin Renee but she got married and she's got a different last name now so I'll assume you're not her :).

[BlogEntry] American Idol 3/8 : Who got kicked off?

Some real surprises this time. And none of them for the better, unfortunately.

Read more…

[Comment] Re: American Idol : Lyrics to Home, by Chris Daughtry

Wow–I googled the lyrics to this song, and what's the first place I find? A website with my last name…imagine that!

[Comment] Re: Dancing With The Stars : Season 4

The song is Le Disko by Shiny Toy Guns

[Comment] Re: Scrubs : My Night to Remember

U dont know anything this was a good episode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!All scrubs episodes are good!!!!

[BlogEntry] Teaching Multiplication and Division

I've become somewhat obsessed with teaching Katherine math.  At almost 5 years old, I don't believe that multiplication and division are concepts too difficult to understand.  I've blogged in the past about the "postfix trick", where you put the times at the end to make it more understandable — "How much do you have if you do 3 2 times?"  The mental switch there is easier to grasp and you can see "3 and 3".  But this trick gets unmanageable quickly since it's hard for little brains to grasp numbers much larger (especially if you run out of fingers).

Lately we've started working with some flashcards that Nanta and Grampy got us.  At first we were going to set aside the multiplication cards as too hard, but after going through the various shape/color/letter cards Katherine said, "I want to do those."  She seems to have quickly grasped the tricks for 0 ("if you have 0 of anything, you've got 0") and 1 ("If you only have one of something, then that's what you have, so if you have one 7, then the answer is 7.")  And I tried the postfix trick for various combinations of multiplying by 2 or 3.  Part of the problem is that you quickly run out of fingers, you see.  There's not much that you can multiply by anything greater than 4×2 or 5×2 and still get the answer on both hands.

Here's a game I plan on trying when I get a moment.  I thought of it last night right at bed time so we didn't have a chance to play it, and I'm bored on the train so I'm writing it up.  You'll need:

  • 10 little plastic Dixie cups, like the sort you hang by the bathroom sink to rinse when you brush your teeth
  • at least 20 coins, beans, or other small countable items
  • two big bowls (optional)
  • marker.  Number the cups 1-10.

I chose 20 countable items because I think that children my daughter's age can reasonably work with numbers in that range.  The game could easily be expanded up to 100 by simply providing more countable things.  So you have to be careful to only choose combinations that result in an answer less than 20

Put all of your countable things into one of the big  bowls.  You could get by with just piles on the table or floor if you want, I figured the bowl just keeps it a little neater.  My 3yr old has a tendency to walk through the middle of such games and mess up the piles.

Pick a flashcard, or just make one up.  Say your flashcard is "5 x 3".  The child counts out 5 cups (using the numbers to help, if necessary), and then proceeds to take the items from the big bowl and distribute them, putting 3  in each cup.  Naturally it's important at this stage that the child can count to these numbers, but I'm assuming that she can, otherwise teaching her multiplication is a bit overkill.

Once that's done, dump all the cups into the other big bowl. Now count what's in that bowl.  There's your answer!

Sure it's a lot of steps, but the name of the game is for the child to eventually memorize the answers are predict the outcome, and then see if she's right.  You can take turns and let your toddler fill up the cups with beans, and then the adult has to guess at the answer.  Then you can figure out together whether you were right by dumping everything out and counting them up.

Division can be taught this way as well, but it's substantially harder because of fractions.  With the help of an adult you can count out a large number of coins, then pick a number of cups that you know divides that number evenly (for instance, pick 12 beans and 4 cups).  Then the child can distribute one coin each into the cups until they're all gone, and look at how many are in each cup.  If there aren't the same number in every cup, that means that the numbers don't divide.

Like I said, haven't tried it yet, but I hope to try it soon.  I'll post the results.

 

[Comment] Re: American Idol : Lyrics to Home, by Chris Daughtry

i luv this song just heard it on the radio and its one of those songs that teenagers and adults(and small ppl) all luv!!

[Comment] Re: Dancing With The Stars : Season 4

What's the title of the song on the preview commercial for season 4?