Entries Tagged 'News' ↓

[BlogEntry] Check Cashing At Bernie's

Two men arrested wheeling a dead body across town so they could cash his social security check.

I'm tempted to call shenanigans on CNN, as I don't believe that anybody could be this stupid. They wheeled the guy to the check cashing store, then went in without him to give it the first try. When the cashier said the guy had to do it himself, they went back out to get the body. Of course, a crowd – including police – had already formed around the body. So we'll never know exactly what they were planning to do next. An officer with more of a sense of humor might have stepped back and let them give it a shot. Were they planning to tie the dead man's wrists and ankles to their own and marionette him through the front door?

Should have taken him golfing.

[BlogEntry] Tiger Attack

Police looking for signs that tiger was taunted.

Oh. They're looking for signs that the tiger who jumped out of its pen and started killing people was taunted.

Here's an idea. There are two survivors, who by all accounts are being "uncooperative" and will not say what happened. If that's not a sign that the tiger was taunted, I don't know what is.

What I can't understand is the conversation that went on between them. "Dude, it *ate* Carlos! We gotta say something!"

"Shut up, we'll get in trouble!"

"Aww, man, you're right! Sorry Carlos!"

[BlogEntry] Ron Paul apparently pwns my town

All over my town up here in the Massachusetts north shore, I'm seeing signs for Ron Paul all over town. They are hand made, and say things like "Google Ron Paul" or "Freedom Ron Paul."

Thus far they all appear to have been written by the same person, as they are in the exact same style and materials (purple paint on some form of white posterboard). Should be interesting to see how it catches on.

[BlogEntry] The Pope and the Dalai Lama Walk Into A Bar

No, seriously. The two plan to meet in December. Whether or not they'll hit the bars is unknown.

[BlogEntry] Scrubs : No Finale?

I was under the impression that all final 18 Scrubs episodes were good to go, and that we would not have to worry about the writers' strike. Turns out that's not true, as only 11 of the 18 have actually been completed, leaving 7 up in the air. And that includes a series finale. Gossip has it that Bill Lawrence was asked to whip together an emergency finale (remember this is the last season of Scrubs, so if we don't get our ending, what happens next?) but he said no way. He claims that the finale will be written, as he wants it, even if it has to show on ABC next year. I'll believe that when I see it.

[BlogEntry] Halle Berry To Convert To Judaism….for the jokes

Taking a page straight out of a Seinfeld episode, Halle Berry offered a rather telling apology for a "Jewish slur" she said on the Tonight Show. They were doing one of those bits where they take pictures of her and use a computer to distort them, and when she came to one with a big nose she said "And this one is my Jewish cousin."

Yikes. 10 years ago we wouldn't have called that Jewish slur, we would have just called it a bad joke.

20 years ago, Don Rickles would have said the exact same thing and followed it up with "Just kidding, I love the Jews, my agent is Jewish" and he would have killed.

These days the audience is silent, the Tonight Show producers edit out the segment, and the star offers an apology the next day.

The funny thing about her apology, though, is that she claims she was simply repeating what had been said backstage by "the three Jewish girls that work for me." So Ms. Berry, in repeating the joke, forgot one of the cardinal rules of the ethnic joke – you can only tell jokes about the race/ethnicity/sexual orientation/religion that you personally belong to. Because if you're not, then you must have meant it in an offensive manner, you see. (Note sarcasm).

In other words, she could have told a black joke and the audience would have laughed. Or she could have had her people send out a press release stating that she's converting to Judaism. Both would have been ok.

[BlogEntry] Scrubs : Dr. Cox (John C. McGinley) Expecting a Baby Girl

Congratulations and best wishes to Dr. Cox, aka John C. McGinley ("Johnny C") and his wife Nicole Kessler who announced recently that they're having a baby girl, due Feb 2. McGinley has a 10yr old son, Max, from a previous marriage.

Don't forget, Scrubs Final Season Premiere NEXT WEEK, October 25, 2007!

[BlogEntry] Wow, China is Pissed, Huh? Good.

China is learning this week that the rest of the world doesn't care what they say. As I blogged previously, His Holiness The Dalai Lama is coming the US to be awarded a Congressional Medal this week (tomorrow, in fact). China has a whole team of people who do nothing but run around ahead of His Holiness and say, "Listen, if you let him in your country we will be very unhappy with you." Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much. I am very pleased with my government for going through with the ceremony. China, in protest, pulled out of some meeting about Iran. I say that we, in protest, should pull out of the Olympics. See how fast they change their tune.
I'll never understood how they got to be host in the first place. "We need room for stadium! Go destroy that 100ft high 1000 year old statue of Buddha now!"

[BlogEntry] America's New Hero? Veteran Cuts Down Mexican Flag

There's a story in the news today about an army veteran who, on camera for the local news, cut down a Mexican flag that was illegally being flown above a US flag. Quote: "I'm Jim Brossert and I took this flag down in honor of my country with a knife from the United States army. I'm a veteran, I am not going to see this done to my country. if they want to fight us, then they need to be men, and they need to come and fight us, but I want somebody to fight me for this flag. They're not going to get it back." What he actually stole was their American flag, leaving the Mexican one on the ground.

And if you only read that part of the story, you should well be thinking "Amen, Brother. Now there's a real patriot, drive those illegals back across the border where they belong!"

Only thing, though, is that the store owner is in fact an American citizen, and had no idea that it was illegal to do what he was doing. Apparently nobody bothered to ask him to take it down, they just went for the news story. Still the right thing to do, ya think? A bit of an overreaction?

So now what you've got is a guy without enough knowledge of the situation who took it upon himself to steal another citizen's property, and getting on the news for it – as the good guy. That's patriotism?

[BlogEntry] Reality Stars Beat The Crap Out Of Each Other

In this corner we have Danny Bonaduce, who people of my age will remember as the little redhaired kid on the Patridge Family and who people of this generation will know as a raging alcoholic with violent tendencies. And in the other corner we have Johnny Fairplay, a man so annoying he makes the Dalai Lama want to punch him in the face. Fairplay's only contribution to society thus far was to trick the producers of Survivor Season 2 (it's in season 9 currently – that was 7 years ago people!) that his grandmother had died. He's basically been hanging around ever since.

It's probably worth mentioning that Danny, the guy with known violent tendencies? Is a trained martial artist. And Johnny, at half his size, basically stays on camera by being annoying.

So,guess who'd win in a fight?

Here's the context. Fairplay is on stage at some reality awards show, and people are booing. Danny wanders on stage, apparently because "someone in a headset" told him to, and says "They're booing you because they hate you." He then give him a friendly tap as if to say "There you go, I helped you with your bit, see ya" and walks away. Johnny, trying to make more of a bit out of it, runs at Danny and does what he calls his "monkey humping routine". If you've seen him do this, it was probably expected. But if you had no clue what he was doing, it probably came as something of a shock.

So, Danny just flips Johnny up and over his (Danny's) head, where Johnny lands on his face and smashes his teeth.

The question going around is, and I quote TMZ.com, "Who's the douche?" Fairplay already claims (from the hospital) to have pressed felony assault charges. Danny is doing the radio talk show circuit to defend himself.

The video really makes it pretty clear, and I think Danny was at fault. Don't get me wrong, I hate the other guy, and at least in theory he's the kind of guy you want to punch in the face. But when you actually see him thrown on his face by a guy twice his size, when all he was trying to do was get a laugh, you say "Well, wait, maybe he didn't deserve *that*." The biggest reason I think it's Danny's problem, though? Never once did he turn around and look to see if the guy was ok. No acknowledgement of "Damn I hurt him" or anything like that. He just played to the audience like he'd done what they wanted. He knew he hurt the guy (he watches Fairplay get up and walk offstage), and he didn't care. He smiled and shrugged. That's not really cool. I would think that even in a fight, if you put a guy on the ground, you have at least some concern about whether you've damaged the dude.