[BlogEntry] Scrubs Quotes : My Inconvenient Truth

GREAT episode, loved it!  I like how they managed to make it serious, get some real character issues going, while not making it feel over the top and manufactured like most of last season.  The Dr. Cox / Elliot storyline was stupid, but the rest was very good. Janitor and Ted played excellent roles.  And did everybody catch all the throwbacks?

  • Way back in Season 1 (I think), Carla told Dr. Cox he has crazy eyes (in the episode where Carla's mom broke her leg).  Here a patient tells him.
  • Carla's reference that "I just gave you this same speech two weeks ago" along with a flashback literally to the scene from the episode two weeks ago where she did exactly that.
  • JD's brother surprised him last time as well by disguising himself as a patient (when his face was all wrapped in gauze and the Janitor told a story to keep JD busy so that he could watch).

(Nothing in my life could compare to this.)  I'm a dad.
  That's not your kid.
I know, but he reminds me of Sam.
  That's a girl!
Stop ruining it, why do you have to ruin things!  I'm having a moment here!

Since Keith and I broke up I haven't been eating or sleeping well, so I'm down a dress size.
  You look like you've been sick.
Turk that's so sweet.

Damn you Carla and your giant rubber stamps!

Hey, I just dropped my mom off at the mall.  She sits on the seat and then holds on by tucking her hands inside my bike shorts.
  That's disgusting.
Yeah.  Doesn't feel right.

Yeah, I let it run all day so I can leave the air conditioner on.  That way it's nice and cool when I drive home. I gotta gas up sometimes over lunch, but it's worth it.

You know what really sucks?
  Being trapped in an elevator with you while you whine about your stupid life?

Plus, I'm making that 40 minute drive on a scooter.  And if I ever want to bring Sam here, I can't, because his stupid flopsy baby neck isn't strong enough to wear a helmet.

Zombie hug!!

Christopher, thanks again for your help.
 Hey man, if it involves making JD scream like a little girl I am there for you man.

AHHHHHH I'm a monster!
  Takes more planning than that.
    That must be embarrassing for you.

You just told a patient to reduce stress and then you yelled at an intern over coffee?
  You are going to be a huge help when it comes time to write my memoirs.

My first step was going with all hemp underwear, it's awesome!  Except when the hemp oil seeps into your bloodstream, then it's awesomer!

Make it snappy jumpsuit, I'm already late for my nap.

I would like to volunteer my services as environmental officer.
  Will it cost me anything?
  Knock yourself out, hippie.

(Yup, nothing makes my life feel less crappy than hanging out with my loser bro.)

Good question, Turk.
  Thanks.  How come you don't point out when I ask good questions?
    Because I don't love you like he does.
Told you!

If you're doing so well how come you made me buy you lunch?
  I was unaware we needed a reason to score a free meal.

I heard you passed out at work?
  Yeah.  I saw a ghost!
Really?  No way!
  No, but I have to come up with something.  It was so embarrassing.
Ooo, tell people it was your mother's ghost!
  I can't, my mom's still alive.

If you leave a light on I make you eat a battery, or lick a lightbulb.  Your choice.

  I'm gonna go with "Ow."

Remember!  Give a hoot!  Don't litter.

Nononono!  Put me the frick down!  Don't you dare put me on that frickin scale!

You!  Come over here and read this number.
  No!  Boom, I will kill your family!  Say goodbye to Baby Boom!

Hypocrisy thy name is….Boom, do you want to finish that for me?  No?  Not smart enough to follow?  It's you, Barbie.  Hypocrisy thy name is you.

You come here with your new job and you give me a car?
 So what?
(Don't say it.)  You're supposed to be the loser, not me.

You know what, JD?  You need to grow up.

He's got crazy eyes.
  I do.  And I'm ok with it.

He expects me to make you drink my mop water.  But since my bucket's all the way downstairs I'm gonna let you off with a warning, provided you promise never to tell Ted.  Yes?
I'm gonna take that as a yes.  That's it, drink it down, baby, suds too!  You've learned your lesson.

Do you think I need to grow up?
  Wow.  You dream your whole life for that moment and then when it comes you're just, you're just not ready for it.  Here goes.  The answer is a sincere, emphatic, 100% definitive never been so sure of anything in my life unequivocal, yes.  And the fact that you came to me means everyone else thinks so too.  Am I right?

Wow.  It's not every doctor that'd take a hot bod like yours and go all jiggly for a patient.

Hey!  Why wouldn't you throw that in recycling?
  The recycling bin is way over there!
What happened to you?  You were gonna change the world, man?
  I've learned to pick my battles in this world, otherwise you fight and you fight and one day you look in the mirror and there's an old man looking back at you and you have to ask yourself was it all worth it?
It's been thirty six hours!

I'm going to say something to you that's been said to me by every person I've ever loved.  I'm really disappointed in you, you are pathetic and weak and I don't love you anymore, get out!

Have you even babyproofed your apartment or learned how to change a diaper?
  Aren't there instructions on the box?

You want to know the weird defect you both have that made you screw up like this? 
You're both human.
    Janitors aren't human.
They are.  And Elliot, I'm really annoyed with you because I gave you this lecture two weeks ago.

Janitors don't whine.  Oh, wait, yes we do.  That's our thing.

You know, JD, you were the one who told me to get my life together in the first place.
  Yeah but I never thought you'd do it.
That's a lovely sentiment.

Damnit, the next time you guys get pastry crumbs all over my car you had better bring a scone for the driver!

(As for me I always assumed growing up happened automatically as you got older.  But it's really something you have to choose to do.  I guess I'm finally on my way.)

He looks like dad.
  I know.


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