The new Dancing With Stars cast list is up! Let's play the "fill in the blank" game:
- Mark Cuban – Internet billionaire and generally loud sports personality. Could he be the one to go on the first episode?
- Floyd Mayweather, Jr – Boxer. There's always a boxer.
- Wayne Newton – Charismatic old guy.
- Melanie Brown, aka "Scary Spice" and Mel B. – What category should we put her in, does she still count as singer? These days it seems like she's most famous as the Eddie Murphy's baby mama. Maybe Heather Mills created a new category last year with "person famous for a controversial relationship?"
- Sabrina Bryan of Disney Channel's "Cheetah Girls." – I could call this the Disney category since we had Hannah Montana's dad last year, but she also doubles as a pop singer. We've had plenty of those.
- Indianapolis 500 champion Helio Castroneves. Young and exciting athlete, ala Anton Ono.
- Actress Jennie Garth ("Beverly Hills, 90210"). Maybe we can have a 90210 category? I don't know what else to say about this one except "C-List, washed up actress."
- Model-actress Josie Maran.There's always a model.
- Soap star Cameron Mathison ("All My Children"). There's almost always a soap star.
- Singer Marie Osmond. I had to call Marie Osmond "old", but she's no Cheetah girl anymore. She'll be the Leeza Gibbons contestant who the over-50 crowd gets to cheer.
- Model Albert Reed. Never heard of him, can't stereotype him.
- Actress Jane Seymour ("Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman"). Maybe her and Marie Osmond can fight it out for the audience's love?