This morning has not been a good morning. We're having a "take in everything that's not nailed down, and kiss goodbye anything that is" storm. Since it's a holiday and the kids are on vacation I had hoped to take a day off, but with nothing to do on such a horrible day I might as well work and save the vacation day for a better opportunity. But what kind of limbo is this that I'm in? Go in to work? No way. Work from home? Maybe, although that looks cheesy, like I'm really taking the day off and trying to claim that I'm working. The power is flickering in the morning so I don't exactly want to leave everybody home in the dark. I think maybe work from home is the best option even if it doesn't seem kosher. As if on cue the cable goes out, taking the internet with it. Looks like I'm driving in to work. Wrong! On the way to work I see a house that's been hit with *three* trees. Ouch. That alone should have been enough to turn me around. But when I couldn't even get on the highway because the main road out of town is blocked, I decide to give up and head home, figuring it will just be a rainy day off. On the way back I even see a car accident. It is a lousy day out there.
So I get back home, explain the situation, and Kerry tells me that it's a good day for a coffee run. She's a little bit more carefree with my safety when she knows there might be a medium french vanilla with cream and two Equal at the end of the rainbow. So I go off to get the coffee. As I'm pulling in to the parking lot my cell phone starts ringing, and I'm wondering if a tree has come down. "Come home!" Kerry says, "I think there's a mouse under the couch."
"A mouse? That's different," I say, glad that it's not a tree.
"Katherine won't look at it, and I don't want to," she says. "I think it's dead, it's not moving."
"Well if it's dead, then there's no hurry," I tell her.
"Just come home."
So I get the coffee and bagels, and come home. The kids are up at the kitchen table, and Kerry's feeding the baby. They all start telling me excitedly about the big black thing that might be a mouse. Black? Probably not a mouse. I look where they show me, and whatever the hell it is, it ain't no mouse. It's big, more like rat sized. Definitely not moving. You can see it sticking out from under/behind the couch. My longtime readers might recall that I'm not great with mice, so the prospect of having a rat in my house is not exactly thrilling me. I get the flashlight and take a quick glimpse, and it really looks more like a stuffed animal to me. I'm not getting close to it just in case the damned thing does decide to move, but I'm pretty sure it's a stuffed animal.
"All right," I say into the kitchen, "I'm moving the couch. Does everybody have their feet up off the floor just in case?"
The scream that came out of my wife was truly worth staying home for. She tried to put her feet into the baby's high chair.
I pull the couch out from the wall, and sure enough it's a black stuffed scotty dog. I bring it into the kitchen, being sure to hide it from Kerry long enough to keep the suspense up. Katherine's only reaction was, "I was looking for that!" Elizabeth's reaction is, "Where's the mouse?"