Wow. Wow wow wow. Never before have I been downright infuriated by Scrubs before. Somehow they managed to turn Kim into the most hated character in the history of the show. I don't know why. But I don't like it one bit. Not gonna spoil it in case people read the quotes before seeing the show, but man, I don't think you're gonna like it either.
Oh really, Donna, I'm ruining the neighborhood? At least I'm quiet. Were you guys having sex last night or raping a baboon?
I wasn't home last night.
My bad.
It's for my retirement, so Enid and I can see the country in luxury.
So it's wheelchair accessible for her, sir?
Ted, I'm not retiring for at least three years. If she's still alive, I'll deal with it then.
You smell like my mom.
Dorian! You have been wrong about so many things that I'm not even gonna say something's "wrong" anymore, I'm going to say it's "Dorian." And the fact that you'd be willing to skip seeing that child's heart beat for the first time is just plain Dorian. I mean hell, Jordan's having her second ultrasound and I couldn't be more giddy. I can't wait to find out the sex of that unborn tax break.
Jordan doesn't let you know the sex until the baby's born.
Dorian again. I don't know if it's the hormones or the baby's actually eating the bitch cells, but Jordan has softened. In fact, last night she asked me to cuddle.
I think not giving you permission to do this for your friend would be totally Dorian.
How is this spreading so quickly?
Man check!
He can't possibly make this my fault, right?
Dorian. Damnit, now I'm doing it.
Your sorority sisters probably loved you.
Keith, they tried to sell me.
Adios, Pickle.
Woohoo! I got friends!
Hi cutie.
Hey.
Oh like there's a chance I meant you.
No, mean's good. I like mean.
You could find out the sex, not tell Perry, hold it over his head and play him like your little bitch boy.
Perry was so wrong about you. You're not an idiotic, scalpel-toting, basketball dribbling, blood sugar watching, idiotic manboy.
Carla's got some serious moves. She can even do an inverted split leg pole spin. You know, if that's what they're called. It's not like I took a poledancing course or anything.
Jordan, the boy already lipsynchs into your tampons. Must we put the final nail in his tiny gay coffin?
Mama wants that trophy.
That was awesome! But uncool.
Then I realized that my dad had hugged me at graduation. Not with his arms, but with his brain.
Excuse me, my mom sleeps with men! I've seen it!I'll tell you what I was not doing here, I was not taking a nap on company time on Doctor Kelso's mobile home. Not this guy. Back to work.
I don't think he knew we were moving.
So can I stop squeezing out brats, or is it another stupid boy?
Uh oh. Excuse me for a second.
Uh oh? Don't say uh-oh. Follow him! He said uh-oh!
Hey wait, no, coming back. Hello. Who's making pancakes?
See? He's great.
Can I say something? I don't know this young man. I wish I did. I admire his spirit. And if he says we must continue onward, then I say I am in!
First off, I'm not a neo-natal surgeon. Second, you ruined my roadtrip. And you just gave my baby to Rochelle, the only nurse to get kicked out of the nursery for using a baby as a ventriloquist dummy.
I don't like being spanked!
That's because you haven't found someone who's doing it right!
Give me that. What's the matter with you?
Go take care of Doctor Cox. Tell him Gladys is thinking about him. He'll know it's me.
Farewell, stranger. I shall toast you with my heartiest wine.
Maybe you should lie down.
And you know damn well I would never be that inappropriate. Thanks, Sugarboobs.
Sir, do you think I know Al Green just because I'm black?
Plan B.
Bummer. Now why am I back in here again?
Because I couldn't wait to rub a little jelly on your treasure trail.
And I could never be mad at Kim for giving me a bad surprise. Because at least she was straight with me.