Miscellaneous rambling, and bragging about my kids.

"Climb into bed, Daddy," said my 3yr old last night. "We're gonna make up a story."

Love it. Although I've heard her wandering around the house making up stories, I've never actually been a part of one. We've finished watching Barbie Fairytopia movie, and have just read Cinderella pop-up book. I climb into bed.

The props for this story are to be 3 things:

• a small rubber orange doll I know to be Sunburst, who is from the Fairytopia series of movies but was not in the actual movie we saw last night, whose name shall be Fairytopia. (In the movie, Fairytopia is actually the name of the place they live, not a character name.)
• A rubber Jasmine doll (from Aladdin), dressed in what appears to be Cinderell's wedding gown. Her name shall be Azura (who is like the boss of the Fairytopia world).
• A length of white ribbon, which currently is wrapped in Sunburst/Fairytopia's hair.

In this case, Sunburst/Fairytopia and Jasmine/Azura are to be sisters. "How do we play?" I ask.

I wish I could do justice to the response I got, because it seemed so crystal clear in her head, but without a tape recorder there's no way I could get it all down accurately. Basically it went a little something like this, "We take turns trying on the ribbon to see if it fits, and then the prince marries us, and we have the happiness ending."

Since the ribbon is already in S/F's hair, I wrap it around like a turban and say, "How's this? Does it fit?"

"No, it doesn't fit Fairytopia," says my daughter, who begins pulling it off. "Now her sister Azura tries." Deftly she begins wrapping the doll, head to foot, in ribbon. "Nope, doesn't fit Azura either."

"My turn again," I say, and this time I tie the ribbon in a bow on top of my doll's head. "How's that?"

"Too big!" the director says.

I make a smaller bow. "Hurray," I tell her, hurrying up the game because it's getting late. "The ribbon fits, does that mean the game is over?"

"Not yet, Daddy!" she tells me as I climb out of bed and begin tucking her in. "They didn't have the happiness ending!"

Something clicks.

"Do you mean, and they all lived happily ever after?"

She beams. "Yes! And they all lived happily ever after! Good night, Daddy."

When you first saw the commercials for Celebrity Circus you may have thought, as I did, "Wait…wasn't there a Circus of the Stars back in the 70's?" Yes, but this isn't even close. It has what has become the standard celebreality gameshow format – some borderline celebrities, most famous only for being on other reality shows, compete in events they don't have any experience in. Three judges give comments, then America votes them off. All standard stuff.

The big difference here is that the events are actually interesting, and hard. This is not the kind of circus with lion tamers and jugglers, this is more like the Cirque du Soleil variety, where most of the events are variations on trapeze and usually involve some level of flying/spinning. There's the hoop, the "silks", a tandem trapeze, a bungee cord thing… I quite like the silks, which basically translates to "as long as I've got a grip on this thing, I might launch into the air at any moment."

The direction is a little weak, especially when the "pros" (in this case, circus folk) have to cover for the celebrities. In any event where there's a harness involved there'll be periods where you suddenly focus on the side act for 10 seconds, and you realize there's something going on, like a person being unhooked, that you're not supposed to see. And then there's the unfortunate fact that they already, even in the first week, feel the need to pad the show out to 90 minutes by having various clips and other interview segments that really should be reserved for later in the series run.

Anyway, the celebrities are the typical assortment:

• Christopher Knight – when you're still getting introduced as Peter Brady 30 years later I'm not sure if that is a bigger testament to the Brady Bunch show, or to your lack of having done anything else. But Knight is clearly the elder statesman of the group, and I hope he does well.
• Wee Man – Jackass. That's not a personal comment, or maybe it is. He's from the Jackass crew. Can't stand to look at him, he's annoying. He keeps screwing up his act. If that's because he's little, fine, but why did he sign up in the first place?
• Blu Cantrell – No idea what she does, she a singer? Based on her attitude the first week, she won't last a second. Lots of segments of her sitting down on the job taking a nap, and then copping attitude and saying stupid things like "When my body tells me to rest I have to rest, that doesn't tell you anything about my work ethic, you don't know me." Well yeah, we kinda do now…
• Stacey Dash – Here's another one where if you're most known for something from 20 years ago (she was in Clueless), maybe your claim to celebrity is debatable.
• Antonio Sabato, Jr – I'm sure I've heard the name, but I couldn't tell you what he's in. He's the most muscular of the bunch, and will surely do well in most events because of it.
• Janet Evans – Olympic swimmer, does not have the body for the kinds of outfits they're putting her in. But again, professional athlete, she'll likely do very well. Her thing's gonna be "not a sexy bone in her body" apparently.
• Rachel Hunter – Another one for the "famous because she's famous" category, last scene in Dancing With The Stars.

As for the judges, they fall more into the Dancing With The Stars pattern than American Idol. You've got:

• Aurelia Cats – World renowned (?) trapeze artist in the Carrie Ann spot, she's the technical expert who will pick them apart on the details when she's in a bad mood.
• Mitch Gaylord – I don't know if I'll call him Len Goodman, but he's the most neutral of the bunch as far as personality goes. Tries to say something nice every time, so he's more Paula Abdul in that respect.
• Louie Spence – Needs to go. He's got the whole Bruno thing going, with the flare and the hands and the big personality. He's also gay as the day is long and announces it in every other word of every sentence. It's really really annoying.

This was only the second week, so it'll be interesting to see how hard / repetitive the events get. It's very much like Dancing in that they can repeat events each week but have a different celebrity do them, thus putting a new spin on it.

Blu is the first to go, which only makes sense, because she was horrible both in skill and personality. Even when she gets booted she's still complaining about the judging, suggesting the Aurelia come sing one of her songs. Here's the problem, Blu – you came on a show to compete in your ability to do the trapeze, which Aurelia is qualified to judge you on. You asked for it. Now go away. Or better, wait a week and take Wee Man with you next week.

i agree this episode was freaking sweet! sure it was a little stupid but i was laughing the whole time

Oh I Love It When Turk Goes ' But in a totally manly wayyy'
and Dr Cox's rant is hilarious
although my favourite scrubs thing has to be
' sneak hug '
and oh ' shower shorts – for the man who has nothing to hide, but still wants to'
haha oh i love it
XD
xxx

I've mentioned that my son, much like my daughter did, pronounces many words with a Y on the front for some reason. This was particularly cute tonight after dinner when we had Yinkies for dessert.

He's at the phase where he wants to do everything himself. Which, of course, translates into screaming fits of "My yelf! My yelf!" Who's going to buckle the car seat? My elf! I like to imagine a little invisible elf doing his bidding.

Yesterday evening we're reading a book that shows a farm scene. Some pigs or something are having a race of some kind, and a bunch of animals are on the sidelines. "How many friends are watching the game?" read the text. "How many animals can you name?"

"How many animals are there?" I ask.

"One, two, three, four, five."

"Very good. And how many animals can you name?"

"That one is Ricky, and that's Emily, and Marsha, and Emma, and Max."

"…..Good job,sweetie."

While driving yesterday, my three year old suddenly asks from behind me, "Daddy, do you have at least one hand on the driving wheel?"

"Yes," I reply.

"Thanks," she says, and nothing more is said.

So I swing by Dunkin Donuts for lunch today, figuring that I will try one of their new "flatbread sandwiches". I see the offerings are Turkey/Bacon/Cheddar, Ham/Swiss, or Three Cheese.

"Could I get the Ham and Swiss sandwich please?" I ask.

"Sure," says the nice Chinese lady, coming over to the register. "What kind you like?"

"Ham and swiss," I repeat, thinking that she is just reconfirming my order.

She pauses. "Yes but what kind sandwich you like?"

"I'm sorry?" I ask now, generally confused.

"Sandwich. What kind sandwich?"

Now I'm thinking that maybe there's a choice of bread or something that I've missed. "What are my….choices?" I ask.

At this point the Chinese man filling the donuts turns around and says, "We have three kinds sandwich. Turkey bacon, ham swiss, and three cheese."

"Oh!" I say. "Ham and swiss."

"Ham and swiss," he tells the lady.

My fault for not being clear, I guess. Maybe, *maybe* giving her the benefit of the doubt, me saying "ham and swiss" sounds like "sandwich" and she thought I kept asking for a generic sandwich over and over again.

Yesterday my oldest, while waiting to be driven to school, is trying to explain to me that if you're spelling cats, you don't need to put the line over the s.

I have no idea what she's talking about. It doesn't help that I'm trying to clean the kitchen before running her out the door to school. She tells me, "That's ok, I'll think about how to better explain it to you."

As we're driving she explains, "If you're talking about the cat's whiskers you use the line, Daddy, but if you're talking about two cats, you don't."

"Oh!" I say as it dawns on me. "You're talking about the apostrophe!"

"Yeah," she says shakily, not really sure if that's the right word.

"So like if I said K's backpack I use the line above the S, but if I said there are two Ks in your class, I don't."

"Right, Daddy. That's what I meant."

"Ok, now I get it. Know what that's called? That's called possessive and plural."

"What?"

"Did I lose you?"

"Yeah, you lost me."

"Don't worry about it. Know where else you use the line? In contractions. Have you learned contractions yet?"

"Contr…..no."

I have to remember not to fill the child's brain up too fast.

Today the 3yr old was all about the stories:

"Daddy, today at work my friend Jessica learned a new word: Protest. And my friend Courtney? Has a new book. The title is the Princess and the Princess and the Prince and the Mean Witch Who All Live In The Castle With The Dragon. The one princess's name is Belle and the other princess's name is Ariel. The prince's name is Max and the mean witch's name is Caliban. His helper with is named Sycorax."

Jessica and Courtney, I may have mentioned, are women where I work who she has borrowed as imaginary playmates. Caliban and Sycorax are characters from Shakespeare.

On an unrelated note, do all little kids go through a phase where most words start with the Y sound? I remember my oldest once telling me a story to the effect that, because of something the "yady" had told her she could not have, she "had a yiddle meltdown."

Well my youngest, my son, seems to be doing the same thing . The other day, playgroup father Kip was over. When I walked in the door after work, there was my son, very excitedly yelling "Yip! Yip!" When he can't find his mother he wanders around the house calling "Mommy! Yahyoo?" And in the morning he more often than not walks his "yoos", although whether he's asking for juice or shoes is very hard to distinquish.