Miscellaneous rambling, and bragging about my kids.

Kerry and I managed to disappear for a night up to a B&B in Maine this weekend. Back in November I'd promised to take her away for her birthday and made the arrangements, but it wasn't until now that we could find the time to make it happen. The fun thing about going to a bed and breakfast is that each one is unique, right down to your choice of rooms. Do you want the suite, or the one with a television? Queen or king bed? Jacuzzi tub, or fireplace? Finding the right combination is tricky, especially once you factor in your own budget and time considerations.

We found a nice place that had two large rooms to choose from that met my requirements – both had a king bed, and both had a fireplace. Interestingly, neither had a television. The other rooms that had televisions all had queen beds. One room had a "soaking tub" separate from the two-headed shower and, this was the final tipping point, a "pass through fireplace" that could be seen both from the bed / sitting area as well as from the bathroom. In other words you could relax in the tub and enjoy the fire. That sounded perfect.

It's interesting how you picture something in your head, isn't it? We got there, and it really is quite a nice place. Our room was indeed the best one they had. And oh look, there's the fireplace, a gas-insert type of thing built right into the wall so it can be seen from both sides. I've seen similar things in hotel lobbies. Cool. Then I notice that while yes, you can see the fireplace from the bathtub (if the door is closed), the tub is facing the wrong way. You can't actually lay down in the tub and still see it. Interesting how that detail slipped by. Thinking about it, I'm pretty sure that it was phrased as "you can see the fireplace from the tub", not necessarily that you could enjoy both at the same time. Sneaky.

And then came the second realization. A pass through fireplace, you see, is really another way of saying "A little window into the bathroom." Sure enough if you're out in the main room in just the right spot, you've got a straight through line of sight to the other person doing their business. I'm not really sure that's the sort of thing that you should mention on the marketing brochure, though. Never know what sort of clientèle that will attract.

The next morning at breakfast we met a couple who said they'd stayed in our room the night before, but moved to a different room. I wondered why, silently – something wrong with ours that they weren't telling us? Later I looked at the descriptions of the other rooms and realized that they'd switched to one with a jacuzzi tub. And a queen bed. To each their own, I guess.

Actually, she had a cane because in real life the actress (Judy Reyes, I think?) broke her hip. But nice that you spotted something for continuity – I'm pretty sure nobody actually mentioned the RV crash. She's the only one with any injury.

carla had a cane cause in the rv episode right before it she got hurt… they needed continuity

who sang the song that was playing in the background while they were going through the clips

maybe alot of people have forgotten apolo since the last olympics (unless you are into skating) but you will remember him once you see him dance. he is intelligent, has a great personality and puts 110% into what ever he is doing. in all the polls he is either first or second to win.

Thanks for the ride Lloyd, this DUI is such a hassle.
  Been there bro.  Been there.
Alcohol?
  Crack.

Oh babe, I didn't want whipped cream.
  Oh well let me fix it for you, babe.
    And this isn't soy.
      Sucks to be you.I'll go get your coffee.
Do you know how lucky you are to have a husband?

My mom thinks I should test his love by saying I'm knocked up.  If he doesn't propose on the spot, I just demand that he gives me six hundred dollars for the abortion, dump him, and ease my sadness with a brand new pair of Jimmy Chus.  That's how she got her rad shoe collection in college.

Thanks for the biscotti, Obi Brown.
  No problem, Luke.

I really want to rent this place but once I told the landlord about my DUI and how I sometimes pass out when I poo he said I need someone to co-sign the lease, what's with that?

He was a beautiful black blur.

I'd love to put my ear on her butt and see if I could hear the ocean.
  Brian, you're doing that thing where you say your thoughts out loud.  It's a side effect of his injury.  (It wasn't, but we've been having some fun since we came up with that.)

I'm gonna have your baby so hard, baby!

Good morning, reasons why I drink.

Oh these glasses, they're not prescription but I figured I'd wear 'em so I can fit in with you medical geeks.

(Cool, a new black resident!  Oh, it's just Turk.)  Hi Turk!

Brian can't hold small objects.
  I had an ex-girlfriend that had the same problem.  No she didn't.  That's awkward.

Plus I'm a tent-dwelling poop-fainter who can't drive.
  I have a fiberglass skull.
It's always a competition with you.

Were you thinking about me?
  I always think about you when I'm in the box, you know that.

Living with a guy before marriage makes me feel too whorey.
  You can live in separate states, but if you're doing the nasty before you get married, your ass is gonna burn.

Lupus…does she live on the second floor?  Does she live upstairs from you?  I think you have seen her before.

You "cut and run", if you will.  That's right, it's not just a phrase used by political pundits who wear bowties.  It is also the number one reason why all of you should pray to god, or in your case Rex, Moko the Samoan Bird King, that you never have to be treated by these flesh hungry butchers.  Jenny, take his glasses as a trophy.

You wait, eventually you'll crave his approval and be just like me.
  (And still, as I thought about Dr. Cox I knew JD was right.)
See?

Everything's awesome we're great everything's great.
  What do you mean we're great?  We haven't had box sex in days.

I don't see what's insane about not wanting spiders to lay eggs in my cornflakes, that's how Carla's mom died.
  No it wasn't.
You're supposed to be my best friend!

Oh my God, how hard is it for you to use a frickin coaster you frickin fricky frick?!

Here's the deal Keith, my house my rules.
  I thought this was our place.
No Keith, this is my place.  You just rent a room.

Presenting the world's longest shush…. ShhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhI'm gonna go ahead and stop, I'm not committing the way I normally do.  I'm gonna go away, regroup, maybe seeya later.

(I knew right then that somehow I'd make Dr. Cox…)
  Seriously dude stop doing that.  That's my thing.

Every godawful year Enid's wheelchair rusts in the salt water, Harrison spends my money getting his hair braided by trannies, and I fall asleep in the sun.  Don't page me.

Damned trannies got me in my sleep.

To mutton chops!  Actually, these are fake.  I did this to make a point.  You have to think for yourself.  Don't be a sheep, follow the fold.  I want you to repeat after me:  I think for myself.
  I think for myself!
You can't tell me what to say.
  You can't tell me what to say!
I won't say this.
  I won't say this!
Lalalalalalala.
  lalalalalalala.
Unbelievable.
  Unbelievable.

So this patient has fever of 103, renal failure and platelets of 25,000.  What is the diagnosis and management?
  *Bam*, put em down!  It's obvious the patient is septic.  I'd treat him with an activated protein C.  Boyakasha!
Dr. Turk that's just an excellent diagnosis.  However, with his low platelet count treatment with activated protein C would cause what, class?
    Brain hemorrhage.
And what would that cause?
      His death!  Sorry, I got so excited. People were yelling things out.

I recently broke up with my girlfriend who I impregnated on the first date.  Don't worry, she miscarried.  Ok.  And I haven't even begun to think about asking anyone else out mostly because I'm concerned the stress lovemaking would put on my body would cause me to pass out, much like I do when I defecate.

Any last shots you want to take at me?
  You have diabetes and you can't eat cupcakes.

More Scrubs Quotes

Antonella sticks around. Let's just get that out of the way. And it looks like Kellie Pickler's spending her money on more than new shoes.

Read more…

A clip show? A CLIP SHOW? Not only that … a BAD clip show! Ok, fine, JD started the whole thing out with a joke about crappy sitcoms resorting to clip shows when they have no new ideas. But still, let's look at just how much effort they put into this one:

• A fantasize sequence of JD actually drinking milk from Turk who has a cow's udder. Why didn't you just go the whole way and have him suck it from the tap? I bet the writers are just kicking themselves that nobody thought to make a "Have you got any sausage for me" joke.
• Dr. Cox is frickin *bald*, and no one says anything. Last episode it was Carla with a cane for no reason, and now it's Dr. Cox bald for no reason. They're just not even trying for consistency anymore. Sad.
• JD is the one fantasizing about all his memorable moments, and yet he's not in a bunch of them. There's a clip about Brendan Fraser's ghost, for god's sake.
• Update I originally thought that the shower shorts clips were out of order, but I've been told otherwise. Still, horrible show.

At least it gives me a break this week to catch up on other episodes.

Could it be possible that Antonella is actually happy about all her naked picture fame?  She's certainly gained some confidence this week.  But talk about a lesson in how not to argue with the judges.  "You were wrong about Jennifer Hudson," she tells Simon, trying to cash in on all the latest references to the Oscar winner.  "No," says Simon, "We put Jennifer Hudson on the show.  America voted her off."

Ouch.  I wonder if Chris Sligh put her up to that one?

Tonight over dinner, Katherine asked me if I'd noticed anything unusual about the front door. I asked if she'd made a decoration that was hanging on the door. "Yes," she said. I told her that I would look at it after dinner.

What I found was an erasable slate hanging from the doorknob with, as best I can tell, the following:

   T
T2I04H
 I  S

I told her that it was very impressive, and asked her what it said.

"Night is the beautifulest," she said proudly and went off to play.