Entries from January 2008 ↓

[BlogEntry] Why Celebrity News Sucks

EXCLUSIVE: Police Found Bite and Bruises on Jayden James Upon Arrival at Britney Spears' Home, reports US Magazine.

Oh my god! Crazy Britney bit her kid? Wow, she must be nuts! Wow, they're gonna take them away from her for sure!

Now, breathe.

Get down to, oh, the…let me see…1 2 3…4th paragraph. The one where it says, "police were then told by Federline's bodyguard, who had been at the home to pick up the kids, that the injuries were on Jayden before the child had even arrived at Spears' home earlier in the day, and that his older brother, Sean Preston, had actually bit him."

Gossip magazines suck.

[BlogEntry] Check Cashing At Bernie's

Two men arrested wheeling a dead body across town so they could cash his social security check.

I'm tempted to call shenanigans on CNN, as I don't believe that anybody could be this stupid. They wheeled the guy to the check cashing store, then went in without him to give it the first try. When the cashier said the guy had to do it himself, they went back out to get the body. Of course, a crowd – including police – had already formed around the body. So we'll never know exactly what they were planning to do next. An officer with more of a sense of humor might have stepped back and let them give it a shot. Were they planning to tie the dead man's wrists and ankles to their own and marionette him through the front door?

Should have taken him golfing.

[Comment] Re: American Idol : Lyrics to Home, by Chris Daughtry

I made a HUGE mistake before Christmas. Last night was a big one, even if I was only on the computer chatting. I woke up this morning to it, and I caught the name, so I looked it up. The reason is, it really means a lot to me. I love it so much.

[Comment] Re: American Idol : Lyrics to Home, by Chris Daughtry

i love this song it is one of my favioret i think that he should have won american idol he was one of my favoriets to i was so mad when he got voted off the show this song is my favoriet i love it

[Comment] Re: Dancing with the Stars Finale 2007 : Helio and Julianne Win!

you have no idea what u talkin about

[BlogEntry] American Gladiators : Season Premiere

Man, I loved this show as a kid. As a lifelong pro-wrestling fan, this was the perfect Saturday morning show. Imagine all the playground games you played as a kid, turned into real competitive sports. King of the Mountain? Got it. Kill the Guy With The Ball? Got that too.

So I was excited to hear it's back. Not optimistic, for a number of reasons. It's on primetime, apparently at 9pm, and hosted by Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali. Let's see how it goes…

I'm happy to see that they actually kept most of the show the same. Most of the original events are still there, and even when they say something is a new event, it looks like just a reworked version of an older one. They added water to several of the "fall off" events, like Joust, so you get soaked if you fall. Nice, if unnecessary, touch. They did also take the Gladiator out of the final Eliminator station, which is a good idea – that final event should be all about the competitor.

The gladiators are the same sort of personalities you had in the old one – short names like "Titan" or "Fury" and some hint of the character behind them. Wolf, who howls a lot, seems to get lots of tv time. One guy appears to be named Toa, and has some Hawaiian gimmick going. Not sure where they got that idea, as it sticks out like a sore thumb. But you can expect them to all develop fan followings shortly.

Thus far, Hulk is a lousy host. He says "brother" and "dude" a lot, and spends too much time hogging the microphone. But, then, his purpose is to ask questions of people who just got their butts kicked, so they don't have much to say anyway. As a matter of fact, listening to the competitors talk might well be the worst part of the show. Much like typical game shows, some producer backstage tries to convince the competitors that they are as much a charcater as the professional actors, and they go in front of the cameras with all these catchphrases and speeches and just end up sounding stupid. Shut up, win your competition, collect your prize and go home.

I liked it. Looking forward to seeing more. I hope they keep it competitive and don't overproduce it.

[BlogEntry] Celebrity Apprentice : Season Premiere

Ok, normally I would probably give this show a pass, it's a total "jump the shark" moment for Trump and his franchise. But, with the strike going on there's nothing else to watch.

For episode one, Gene Simmons is the star of the show. He's a regular on all the reality shows, and most people familiar with him know that ultimately he's a giant a-hole. There's no reason to think that that's changed.

The task is selling hot dogs. While the women debate whether they should rely on their celebrity and the men wonder what their hook should be, Gene gets on the phone and you hear "Listen, do me a favor, come into the city tomorrow and donate five grand to charity for a hot dog, ok? Thanks." Next thing you know the guy's whole strategy is going through Gene's phone book and getting rich people to swing by and drop off donations.

The women, led by Omarosa (who is a "celebrity" only in the sense that she is a past Apprentice contestant), never stood a chance. By not playing the celebrity card they were selling hot dogs for $5 and lucky to see a $5000 donation, while one call from Gene Simmons brought them $10k. Guys win, $52k to $17k.

I really really really hoped that Omarosa would be the first to go, and she does nothing but subtract from the show. She's annoying to look at and to listen to. But Trump ends up firing the Playboy playmate because she never called Hugh Hefner for money. That's just dumb.

One change this season that I like is that the men got to watch the boardroom on video. It was fun hearing their comments. "Omarosa is a cockroach,you can't kill her!"

[Comment] Re: A Trip To 3yr Old Land

🙂 I was translating for the non-geek-speaking readers in my audience.

[Comment] Re: Tiger Attack

I hope the tiger started with his asshole first and worked her way up. I hope it hurt like hell. I hope the other two have nightmares until the day they die. I am so sick of people being mean and abusive to animals and thinking its ok. It's NOT!

[Comment] Re: A Trip To 3yr Old Land

You are supposed to spell that "pwned".