[BlogEntry] Scrubs Quotes : My Long Goodbye

Wow, so they did it, they actually killed off Laverne.  I have to admit, I'm disappointed.  I'm glad that the humor was still there and it was in general a good episode (especially the way that Dr. Cox tried to keep his daughter's birth from being associated with Laverne's death), but I mean, come on, the last episode (My No Good Reason) dealth entirely with Laverne's faith that everything happens for a reason, and Dr. Cox's inability to accept that…and then she *dies* and no one so much as has a moment of difficulty with it.  Dr. Cox in particular seems to not have a problem with it at all.  You'd think that after the last episode and how he walked into the bad news, there would have at least been some connection.

Oh, but I am glad that JD had such a good episode.  Not only did he get to bond with Dr. Cox (being the first to learn about the birth), but he got to be godfather and name the baby.  But other than those things, it was a pretty weak episode.  Some of the writing was very cliched, like "Most of all, you were my friend" and the beer raising "To Laverne".  Been done a million times.

I could have sworn I texted you.  Well it's for the best, because if you knew you'd just get all panicky and annoying, and this way you only have to freak out for a couple of hours, most of which I'll be unconscious.  Kind of like our honeymoon.
  Except that this time when you wake up you're gonna have a baby girl in your arms instead of the Bolivian limbo champion.
Oh, Marco.  What a cheeky monkey.  How come we don't travel anymore?

Mr. Gubar, I think it would be best if we brought in the bad news robot.
  Hello Random Patient, you have cancer.  Press one for a reassuring peptalk, press two to give up.  You pressed one for a reassuring peptalk.  You are strong, you can beat this, beat this, beat this….
Stupid robot!

You've taught me so much over the years Laverne, like how to place an IV without bruising, or how to get lab results back faster, or the fact that when white people come in out of the rain we smell like wet dog.  We do, we really do.

Are you on call tonight or will you be busy fighting Superman?  You look like Lex Luthor.

They're scooping the baby out of me today!

Anything, just three quick questions. Did you do that to your head so your baby will think everybody looks like that, can I be the godfather, and why is this a secret?

Dr. Cox, this may be a strange question, but have you ever had the memory of someone follow you around, kind of like a ghost?
  No.  But then again, I'm a sane person.

Now let me get into character.  Hating the world…clenching my jaw….wishing I could love JD a little more….

You know, she once told me I'd have a happy life.  And she said it with a straight face.

You were the one woman I'd never do, because I respect you too much.  And you're kind of a big girl.  But if doing you right now could help?  I would.

I probably should have said this to you before, but you've always impressed me.  Your compassion, your faith.  And you didn't get mad at me when I insisted I should be the lifeguard at your above ground pool party even after I made it painfully obvious that I'm not a strong swimmer.  If you see your dog up there, please tell him I'm sorry.

I converted to the Norse religion a few years ago.  Just made sense.

That look only works for black guys.
  Then why are you sporting it?

You can finally go home, Laverne.
  Oh he did not just say that.  Too cheesy.

Buttercup?  This is not our child.
  Yeah, ours still looks like a lizard.  I got this off the internet, I think it's some baby Luke Wilson had with a hooker.

Yes, that's what we call a lie.  Or, when married, communication.

Come on, you and I both know Laverne's not gonna be around a whole lot longer.  And I know this reasoning is about as rational as your parents actually thinking they could raise you as a boy, but I don't want the birth of my child to be forever associated with her death.

Well since I already know about it, right? Why don't I go in there, make a big show, some JD razzle-dazzle, some jazz hands.  That way she'll forget all about how no one's come to congratulate her on the arrival of baby Jennifer Dylan.
  Why that name?
I just think it's pretty.  (And she'd be JD forever!)

You know Laverne, if this was a horror flick I'd be so scared that I was next.  They always kill the black folks off first.  I'm not really worried about it, there's still Snoop Dogg resident, and Leonard the security guard…you know when you think about it, this is a white ass hospital.

Mountain Dew was always called Mountain Dew.  Although, little known fact?  Dr. Pepper, originally called Senor Brownwater.

What's that smell?  that's the sweet scent of afterbirth.

Unfortunately for Dr. Cox, that's when Dr. Reed walked by and showcased her oddest talent.
  Somebody just had a baby.
    How do you know?
  My uterus is glowing.
My mom had a uterus.  I lived in it.

Making fun of the doctors, going on and on about Jesus.  Man I hope he's real, or you're gonna be pissed.

I only told you guys, and you guys are all here.  What's the worst that could happen, right?
  They're probably just forming a line outside to make sure they come in one by one.
    Screw it.  You know what?  You're the godfather.
  YES!  YES YES YES!  In your face!  Can you name her Jennifer Dylan?
    Sure, what the hell.

 

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