Miscellaneous rambling, and bragging about my kids.

You have to love the look of awe in Animal's eyes.

And the screaming.

Wow, what in the world has Christa Miller (Jordan) done to herself?  Is it the nose, or the lips?  She looks painfully awful.  Everything about her now, her looks, her character, her voice, all make me want her scenes to be over.

By the way, if you're wondering why "Laverne" is suddenly back, here's the gossip – the actress who played Laverne (Aloma Wright, although I think I'm spelling that wrong) was talked into getting killed off with the thought that last season was the final season. So when they got picked up for another season, the producers felt that she'd gotten screwed. So they wrote her back in. I admire the loyalty, but still wish they hadn't done it.

Once again, Dr. Kelso gets the best line of the week with "Did she just call me Bob?  I will kick her again!"

I don't even like waterparks.  I mean I did, until someone thought it'd be funny to go down the slide two seconds after me.
  Dude the lifeguard told me to go.
Really!  Did he also tell you to take your trunks off, Turk?  Because the last thing a guy wants to see when he's in a splash pool is his best friend's junk headed towards him at forty miles an hour.  Felt like I got pistol whipped.

Why do you call these babies?
  It could be that when I was a kid I didn't have any toys.  I used to make my own toys, as a matter of fact.  And I would take the toilet paper rolls, draw little faces on them, name em, surround myself with them and hope they'd protect me.  I went out to the side of the road to try and sell them one time, make a little money on my own, you know?  But no one bought any, and when I came home everyone was gone.

You know how you and I don't talk so much?  If you're wondering whether that makes me happy or sad, it makes me happy.

Oops, missed a spot.  Sad for you!

Mmmmm, first spill of the day!

Snoop Dogg attending!  Where my ho's at?

Hey, Teddy.  Looking bald and sweaty.
  Putting my smile away…..and on with the day.

Yeah, that looks like a healthy bone.
  Speaking of healthy bones?
    Perry?
  One second, ma'am.  I've got one in my pants.  He's all yours.

What have you been doing all day?
  Right up until this very second I've been avoiding you.

I'm taking the kids to my mothers for the weekend.  And seeing's how you're not allowed within forty feet of her house…
  The restraining order.
Christmas memories!

If they do this at all sporting events, I'm gonna start going.  Yay!

For some reason the car was half an hour early.
  Yeah.  That was me.

Sometimes you've just gotta say, what the fudge.
  That's not the line.
I saw it on a plane.

I feel like I'm looking at Laverne again.  You just got yourself a new nickname, missy.  See ya later, Lavernagin.

I want to take her to the homeland.
  Baby you're from Chicago, why don't you just get her a deepdish pizza?

Turk I was referring to the Dominican Republic and if you say isn't that where I bought my wrinklefree chinos, I may kill you.

Go to hell, Bob.
  I didn't even say anything!

Kicking me under the table's not gonna make me leave either.
  I did it.  You talk too much.
    Say Bob?  Sorry about that go to hell thing, earlier.
We cool.

Did she just call me Bob?  I will kick her again.

You see, I'm a lot of things.  I'm a scorpio, a registered independent, a foodie, a parrothead, yup I do love that Jimmy Buffet always have always will, a leg man…
  A right bastard.
Thank you, Bob, but I can assure you the one thing I am not is
  Straight?
Audience participation is now over.

You're such a man of the people, do you even know anybody's real name?

Snoop, I'd hoped you legally changed your name to Snoop.  Never got around to that?

(Ok you can get this one, I know it's just like Beardface but not Beardface.  Oh, yeah.) Beardmouth!
  It's BeardFahSay, damnit!

Daddy?  Gramma says you once peed in the garden.
  Guilty.

I heard Jordan's staying away the whole week now?  We've been texting ever since we both found out we're both nervous pooers.  I turned her on to one soundproofer so talented even someone with their ear to your door can't hear when you fluffy.
  Interesting.  When she gets back you to should see about getting together and having a crazy off.
I'm gonna text her that you said that.

Say, Ted, these are all just blank pieces of white paper?
  Shhhh!  You need to look busy.

Hello, tall dark and whatever.
  Handsome.
No.
  Well done, Dr. John "I Think I'm A Man Of The People But Now Thanks To The Janitor Everyone Knows I'm A Fraud And I Have Egg On My Face" Dorian.  That's your clever new nickname.
(Oh my god, you finally have a nickname!)

If I win, you have to do my job for a day.
  And if I win?
I have to do my job for a day.
  How is that fair?
I'll actually do my job, for a day.
  Ohhh, deal!  Do you know how?
It's been awhile.

Ok Dr. John "I Think I'm A Man Of The People But Now Thanks To The Janitor Everyone Knows I'm A Fraud And I Have Egg On My Face" Dorian.
   Very funny.  (Perfect!  Pretend you hate the nickname, that way it'll stick.)

Who's this?
  It's a doctor, I think it's Patrick, or Paul…
It's Gwen.  Although she does have a mean case of manface.

Dr. Cox I just want to throw this out there, it feels really good to be your student again.
  Take that back, or I am going to shove every one of these polaroids down your throat.
(Back to best friends it is!)

Like this guy.  Look at him.  Now, there's no way he's ever going to make love to a woman unless that woman is dead.  And dead rhymes with Ted.  Ted.
  That's how most people remember it.

What was your mnemonic device for remembering my name?
  Do you really want to know?
Do I?
  No.

(And arm around him….oh my god, is this what heaven is like?)

I do need to learn more about my heritage.  So I called my mom, and she said somehow, distantly, I'm related to the guy who invented peanuts.
  Turk, that's George Washington Carver, and he didn't invent peanuts, he just thought of uses for them.
I'm talking about the little foam packaging peanuts.  How dumb do you think I am?

You just don't get what's really bothering me.
  Couple days ago you dreamed in English.  Three years of marriage and I'm starting to pay attention.

It's bad enough that when people look at my daughter they only see your African princess. They think she's black, not half black half Latina.
  That's not true.
Oh really?  Watch.  Sir.  What race would you say this baby is?
    Well, half black, half Latina, most likely Dominican origin.  Then again I am the new hospital geneticist.

I like the way I was.
  Oh you mean the giant jackass that nobody can stand to be around for more than twenty seconds.
Yes.  I love that guy.
    Me too.

All right.  He looks like a serial killer, which is a kind of cereal I'd want to stay away from, like oat bran.  Brandon.

Ok, Snoop Dogg attending.  I saw him without his pants on once and he has crazy skinny legs, like french fries.  French fries are sold at McDonalds, whose founder is Ronald McDonald.  Ronald.
  Saw him without his pants on once?

Ok Jordan, you win.  I miss you guys.
  I miss you too, Daddy!
Jordan?  Would you like to say the same thing?
    I would not.
  She would not.

Colonel Doctor.  I call him that because he looks like that Kentucky Fried Chicken guy.  KFC makes coleslaw.  Coleman Slawsky.  Incidentally my favorite name ever.

It's like this ammonia is seeping into my brain and making me violent and angry and hateful.
  Yup, that's how it starts.
What the hell are you looking at?
  Nice.
That felt good.

More Scrubs Quotes

I can't wait to see who drinks bleach. 🙂

You know Warren Zevon's music, even if you don't know his name or his face. He's the "Werewolves of London" guy. Or maybe "Lawyers, Guns and Money" or "Excitable Boy", take your pick. If you've heard his voice, you know what I'm talking about.

But did you know the story of what happened to him, and how he died?

A lifelong phobia of doctors means he never got medical attention. That is, until 2002, when his pains were becoming too unbearable and he was finally convinced. Turns out he's got mesothelioma. You know, cancer. One of the bad ones. In his own words during a final David Letterman interview, "I may have made a tactical error in not going to the doctor for 20 years."

But then, he decides not to take the treatment which would have knocked him on his ass, probably for good. Instead, he heads into the studio and starts recording. And out of the woodwork come some gods of the music world to help him, including Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, Don Henley, Joe Walsh and many others to help him finish. The whole experience is documented in video by VH1.

The finished product, The Wind, is damned near beautiful at times. Take for example some lyrics to "Keep Me In Your Heart":

Shadows are falling, and I'm running out of breath,
Keep me in your heart for awhile.
If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less,
Keep me in your heart for awhile.

On the one hand, they are simple and repetitive. But yet that's all they need to be. They are the kind of lyrics that stick in your head one bit at a time as sentiments, not just as sounds. They are nice thoughts. "Sometimes when you're doing simple things around the house, maybe you'll think of me and smile" captures it beautifully. If anyone in your life has ever left it, you know exactly what that moment feels like.

Zevon goes on Letterman, who dedicates an entire hour to him. It was here that we got his famous quote where, on the subject of facing death, he replied, "Enjoy every sandwich."

When diagnosed in fall of 2002 he only had months to live. But he lived to see the birth of grandsons in June 2003 and the release of the album soon after. At one point he said he wanted to live to see the next James Bond movie, which he did.

Warren Zevon died in September, 2003. The Wind went gold in December of that year, and received 2 Grammys (and 5 nominations).

No, seriously. The two plan to meet in December. Whether or not they'll hit the bars is unknown.

My son's chosen method of destruction in the mornings is to randomly pull books off shelves until he finds one of interest. This morning he found The Christmas Story. I know this because when I walked into my daughter's bedroom she shouted, "Daddy! Brendan found Jesus!"

"Jesus?" said my 3yr old, "I love Jesus!"

"Me too," I said, with that level of sarcasm that 3yr olds don't quite grasp yet.

"You are so not getting into Heaven," said my wife.

Yeah, I want my Scrubs finale! It's a great show and it deserves a good ending – not something "scrubbed together".

I am glad your daughter didn't care as much as you did!

I was under the impression that all final 18 Scrubs episodes were good to go, and that we would not have to worry about the writers' strike. Turns out that's not true, as only 11 of the 18 have actually been completed, leaving 7 up in the air. And that includes a series finale. Gossip has it that Bill Lawrence was asked to whip together an emergency finale (remember this is the last season of Scrubs, so if we don't get our ending, what happens next?) but he said no way. He claims that the finale will be written, as he wants it, even if it has to show on ABC next year. I'll believe that when I see it.

Heh – yup, pink donut with sprinkles it is for my 3 yr old too 🙂