Entries Tagged 'Television' ↓

After watching High School Musical 2, a commercial came on the Disney channel for something called The Jonas Brothers. "Ug, I hate the Jonas brothers!" said K.

"That's not very nice," I said. "Why don't you like them?"

"They're like a yogurt poster."

"That might be the most unusual simile I've ever heard. Why are the Jonas Brothers like a yogurt poster? I feel like the Riddler from the old Batman shows. Riddle me this, Caped Crusader! Why are the Jonas Brothers like a yogurt poster? Answer! Because there is a B in both, and an N in neither!"

I never did get a straight answer about the yogurt comment, something about a commercial they were in and how her friend Emma does not like them either. I just couldn't resist the Frank Gorshin reference, how often do you get to make one of those?

Maxim has their list of new fall shows they won't be watching. Several I hadn't even heard of. Everybody is just baffled over the whole "Cavemen" thing, where the guys from the tv commercials get their own show. But does anybody remember Dinosaurs? A primetime show where a bunch of people in rubber dinosaur suits basically acted out the Flintstones. That one worked pretty well.

The new Dancing With Stars cast list is up! Let's play the "fill in the blank" game:

• Mark Cuban – Internet billionaire and generally loud sports personality. Could he be the one to go on the first episode?
• Floyd Mayweather, Jr – Boxer. There's always a boxer.
• Wayne Newton – Charismatic old guy.
• Melanie Brown, aka "Scary Spice" and Mel B. – What category should we put her in, does she still count as singer? These days it seems like she's most famous as the Eddie Murphy's baby mama. Maybe Heather Mills created a new category last year with "person famous for a controversial relationship?"
• Sabrina Bryan of Disney Channel's "Cheetah Girls." – I could call this the Disney category since we had Hannah Montana's dad last year, but she also doubles as a pop singer. We've had plenty of those.
• Indianapolis 500 champion Helio Castroneves. Young and exciting athlete, ala Anton Ono.
• Actress Jennie Garth ("Beverly Hills, 90210"). Maybe we can have a 90210 category? I don't know what else to say about this one except "C-List, washed up actress."
• Model-actress Josie Maran.There's always a model.
• Soap star Cameron Mathison ("All My Children"). There's almost always a soap star.
• Singer Marie Osmond. I had to call Marie Osmond "old", but she's no Cheetah girl anymore. She'll be the Leeza Gibbons contestant who the over-50 crowd gets to cheer.
• Model Albert Reed. Never heard of him, can't stereotype him.
• Actress Jane Seymour ("Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman"). Maybe her and Marie Osmond can fight it out for the audience's love?

You would have thought that as the show grows in popularity, the "star" power would get better (like American Idol, for instance). Doesn't seem to be happening.

CNN has a lengthy article up on the mother who claims that children were injured during Kid Nation. CNN's article, though, is much longer and goes into much greater detail about the show in general.

Highlights:

• Complaint claims that 4 children "accidentally drank bleach." First of all, 4? One maybe, but 4? Second, dig how CBS confirms it as a "bleach-sipping" incident. Makes you think of wine tasting contests where they're passing it around. "Does this taste like bleach to you? here, try it."
• The comment that adults of all shapes and sizes, including psychologists, doctors and so on were around at all times. Ummm…so you *watched* 4 children drink bleach? I mean, ok, the other girl who had grease spatter in her face, that was an unpreventable accident. But somebody tell me how you watch 4 children drink bleach?
• Parents signed a 22 page waiver that said they wouldn't sue, among other things, "if their child dies."

ARE YOU FRIGGING KIDDING ME?

Explain to me in god's name how you can put such a piece of paper in front of a parent and expect them to sign it?
"Hey Billy, guess what Mommy signed you up for?"

"Karate? Soccer? Computer camp?"

"No, Kid Nation, where if you win mommy will take your $20,000, and by the way, you might die! That's ok, though, Mommy signed the paper, you really have no say in it. Get to work. Oh, shoot, Billy died. Well, I can't do anything about it, I signed a paper and everything. Oh well, I've got other kids. Hey CBS, what else are you working on? How much is the safety of my other children worth?"

One of the great things about being a parent of toddlers is discovering that there are new episodes of Sesame Street on your Tivo. The combination of modern humor coupled with the nostalgia of what you remember from your own childhood is such a wonderful combination, you find yourself getting into the show just as much as your kids do.

Tonight, for example, Kerry and I sat down to watch…not America's Got Talent, but Sesame Street. Seriously. They'd done a skit called "Meal or No Meal", a takeoff on the Deal or No Deal gameshow, that was just hilarious. Out comes the host puppet, looking exactly like Howie Mandel, complete with earrings, bald head and goatee. But then it gets even better – when the guest comes out and tries to hug him, he jumps away from her exactly like the real Howie Mandel (a known OCD sufferer) does. And when the "baker" (rather than "banker") calls (who, by the way, is played by Cookie Monster), the Howie puppet plays it exactly like the real one does: "Sadie? I have good news. The baker likes you."

Who knows, maybe you have to see it for yourself. But the humor is most definitely geared for the parents as much as the kids.

The show's been taped, and hasn't debuted yet, so why not kill some time by filing a child abuse lawsuit? Most of the people who checked in here with a relationship to the show said that they had a great time. But there's at least one mother who has filed suit, claiming that the kids were neglected. One girl was burned by grease while cooking, and one "accidentally" drank bleach. Not quite sure how you do that, I'm wondering what episode that will be on.

Kid Nation, for those that missed the earlier posts, is a sort of Survivor / Lord of the Flies thing where they fill up a "ghost town" with nothing but kids and see if they can build up their own society. No word on whether there will be pig's heads, conch shells or sticks sharpened at both ends.

Update: I've been nicely corrected, she hasn't filed a lawsuit (yet), merely written a letter of complaint. I suppose you need to establish that someone's broken laws first. But who are we really kidding, if a kid sustained an injury, then regardless of what waivers they signed, there's going to be a lawsuit.

Last week I pointed out that although America's Got Talent is supposed to be a variety/talent show, and although it is produced by the same people that do Idol, somehow 7 out of 10 of the finalists on Talent are singers. This is horrible for the show, as it brings the spotlight down on two very obvious things:

1. If only singers stand a chance, then variety acts shouldn't even bother showing up.
2. None of the singers are even close to American Idol standards.

This week the Calypso Tumblers, one of the few non-singing acts, were kicked off, along with family act The Duttons. That leaves only two variety acts: martial arts group Sideswipe, and singing ventriloquist Terry Fator. I really hope Fator goes all the way through, he's got the most unique talent I've ever seen (a ventriloquist that does impressions of singers??). If he manages to win, it will redeem the show's existence. Sideswipe is not going to win.

Quick note on "Butterscotch", who is also a "singer with a unique talent". Namely that she sings and beatboxes simultaneously, which is intriguing the first time you see it. The problem is that after a few tries it gets dull and boring and all of her song sound like the teacher from Charlie Brown on slow motion. WahWAHWahwahwahWAH, wah WAH…..

We're on vacation this week but Kerry made sure that we were situated in front of the tv at 9pm to watch the finale of Age of Love. Amanda the 20something, or Jen the 40something? The buildup seemed all about Jen. His dates were all "saving the best for last" for her, and she seemed to have all the confidence. Even when it came to bringing a gift for the mom, the 40yr old showed a little wisdom that the 20yr old didn't have. And what's Amanda do? Gets all pissy because Jen didn't "share" it. Tough, lady. You're 20 something, your mama didn't raise you to know that when you go to somebody's house you bring a gift.

The blogs, by the way, were almost entirely for Jen. If you read the "official" blog, all the comments really pegged Amanda for her insane jealousy. And many of her comments on camera and even to Mark himself were all about "I just can't stop thinking about you kissing other women" and stuff like that.

But then he goes and picks Amanda. The only possible reason that I and many other people can imagine is the kids thing. Jen's too old to be having more kids. She's got a son that's almost as old as Mark, for pete's sake. Amanda wins on that score, and I guess that's enough to carry the game.

I don't understand how the people that do American Idol can produce a second "talent" show and then have 7 out of 10 of the finalists be singers. None of the finalists in Talent are as good as finalists on Idol, and you have to know that people will make the comparison. Instead, how about everybody that's voting on this show vote for one of the variety acts instead? They are:

• Calypso Tumblers – Great, dynamic act. And although it's basically a bunch of running and jumping, they do it in a way that's exciting to watch. Plus they've got great character and personality, and a good back story. Nice act to support.
• Terry Fator – Ok, this guy is a singer, sort of. He's a ventriloquist who does impersonations of singers. That has to be one of the most unique talents I have ever seen. I'd be happy to see him win it, but I'm not sure that people appreciate the difficulty level.
• Sideswipe – Karate demonstrations are always fun to watch, but as Sharon said, they've got to do something more than just the whole kicky punchy thing to step it up. And bringing out a bunch of little kids really blew it for them, it was too chaotic and silly. It went from hardcore martial arts demonstration to lightweight family fun in a blink.

If a singer has to win it, vote for Cas Haley, the stumpy little guy with the hat. I didn't like his bluesy thing he did, but in general I like his voice best of all of them (thanks for not being country, Cas) and I like his back story, he's always got something inspirational to say about his wife and kids.

Well I guess this show turned watchable after all, Kerry and I have been following it through the weeks. For the most part the episodes themselves are stupid, the 20yr olds are all "Oh yeah really, whatever" and the 40yr olds are all "I'd almost given up hope that I could love again…." Blah. But they've done a good job of overproducing the commercials so each week it looks like they'll be drama.

It's down to Amanda, a 20yr old, and Jen, a 40yr old. Or at least, those are their respective teams, not sure what their actual ages are. Does anybody believe for a minute that that's coincidence? That from the very beginning the producers weren't manipulating the choices to make sure it came down that way? I think I would have been more impressed if it had come down to two from a single age group, it would have felt more real.

My guess is that he picks Jen, the older one. Because although almost all the episodes have been edited to show Amanda getting all the attention, several times you got this "I saved the best for last" comment regarding Jen, who was normally left until the end.

But what happened to Megan? She's afraid to fly, so she can't go on the trip to Australia, so she's kicked off the show? Kerry is pissed! She's sitting there yelling at the tv, "That's how he's going to decide who he loves, who's not afraid to fly? That's not fair!" All's fair in love and reality tv, I guess.