Entries Tagged 'Television' ↓

After listening to the commentary from Peter Noone and Lulu, I'm wondering if they really got the concept. Seems like Peter's advice to everybody was "Don't mess too much with the original, it was fine like it was."

• Haley does "Tell Him" and everybody loves it. She gets poor Simon all hot and bothered by not wearing a bra under her little glittery shimmery top and shaking it right in front of him. Personally I didn't love it, I thought she was concentrating more on getting from one side of the stage to the other and not singing all that great.
• Chris R does "Don't Let The Sun Catch You Crying", a cool Gerry and the Pacemakers song, and gets the first of many Peter Noone "The original is good enough don't mess with it" comments. But the judges love it and go right to the "You made it modern" comments. I still think the kid is too generic for me and won't last. Although I liked the honesty is his comment when he said "I keep wanting to just run it all over the place and have to control myself not to do that."
• Stephanie does Dusty Springfield's "You Don't Have To Say You Love Me" which is a cool song, but she's very boring lately and all the judges point out that she's lost her edge. Maybe because she reads the papers and all she ever hears about are Melinda and Lakisha?
• Blake hits a major home run with a great modern remix of Time Of The Season, complete with beatbox. Everybody, including Simon, loved it. Well, everyone except for Peter Noone who said that the first row should watch out for "all the spitting."
• Lakisha goes with Shirley Bassey "Diamonds Are Forever", which I would have thought a great choice for that big voice of hers, but the judges didn't love it. Maybe she should have gone with Lulu's advice and done You're My World? I don't think I know that song.
• Phil does Tobacco Road, and leaves me pretty cold. Just not interested, really. Simon tells him he has no "grit".
• Jordin does "I Who Have Nothing", more Shirley Bassey apparently, which I've never heard of but Lulu loves. Sounded good to me. Randy gives a big compliment with the prediction "One of the best I think we'll see tonight" and we're not half done yet.
• Interview with Peter Noone, and he even confirms that his biggest advice is "Stick with the melody."
• Sanjaya, dear Sanjaya, love of the Internet. Tries to decide between "You've Really Got Me" (is it You or You've?) or "I'm Into Something Good", a Herman's Hermits classic. Noone steers him away from that one and tells him to stick with "You've Really Got Me" which I can just tell is going to be brutal with the judges but I bet his fans still like. At least he attempts to rock it out. Actually Randy likes it ("I'm in shock, best performance to date, the new Sanjaya"). Simon points to a crying little girl and says "I think her face says it all." A little weird. She didn't stop crying through the whole show, but apparently it was because she was happy.
• Man, I don't care about the fan questions.
• Gina is doing Paint It Black which is about as rock as it gets. Starts out weak, and her outfit is ugly. The drums in this song are awesome, by the way. I don't like her version, it's too high. Simon calls it torture.
• Chris Sligh is actually going to do Henry VIII? Is that a joke? Oh, wait, it is a joke. He's doing She's Not There. Much better, I like that song. That's the kind of British Invasion stuff that's my favorite. I don't love his version, although I think his voice is good. Just not the kind of match I was hoping for. Once again he argues with Simon, which I hate.
• Melinda closes the show with "As Long As He Needs Me", another one I've never heard of. I'm disappointed that nobody did To Sir With Love. Judges love it, but what else would you expect? It's Melinda, the chosen one.

So who's it going to be this week? Well Sanjaya is always a possible choice, although the judges seemed to get a kick out of him this week. Phil got a lousy review, as did Gina. I think it could be Phil.

More American Idol stories…

Technorati: American Idol

Ok, I'm going to start to fall behind here for a little bit since they sprung the premiere on me early, so my apologies ahead of time. Since we haven't finished the show yet at my house I'll save the review of the actual dancers until tonight. But here's thoughts on the premiere itself:

• It's funny how they're hyping "they only had 4 weeks to train instead of 6!" like it's a big thing, and then they say "But the first week there'll be no eliminations." In other words, "We just wanted to get on tv earlier." A week of dancing without eliminations? So, basically, the show is just a 2 hour introduction to the cast? Ummm…
• I'm surprised that the producers haven't yet realized that the professional dancers are becoming stars in their own right at this point. What the heck was up with that mess of an opening number? Kerry and I were frantically looking for the dancers we recognized from past years. I'm disappointed that I didn't see Ashley, the little cute one who got stuck with Master P. I liked her. Why in the world couldn't they have worked in introductions to the dancers at that point? Even when the stars themselves came out, there was a graphic showing the dancer's name, without so much as a "from last season" or anything. They're still using the same introductions for the dancers that they've used since the beginning. Boring. If a dancer's been on the show before (besides Cheryl, we all know Cheryl's going to be the camera darling this time around), show some clips of their dancing.
• And speaking of that chaotic opening number, just how bad is the camera work going to be this year? That was painful to watch. I haven't seen all the pairs dancing yet, but when Joey Fatone was dancing we saw a cameraman or something run across the screen. That's just great.
• Heather Mills would rather be known as "charity campaigner" and "first dancer with an artificial limb" than "Paul McCartney's ex-wife"? This is supposed to be dancing with the *stars*, right? I wonder if anybody will dance to any Beatles covers.
• Oh my god how bad did Billy Ray Cyrus look? I wonder if he'll be the first one gone this time around? That would be karma — his partner is Karina, who pretty much lost the championship last year on her personality alone. Serves her right getting her hair pulled out of her head. Ouch. 🙂
• Did anybody else feel a little weird with the champ from season one out there dancing? I'd almost forgotten about the lost season. You know, the one where it was fixed, before they realized that they might have a hit on their hands.
• Here's some totally trivial trivia. One of the pairs danced to "Ballroom Blitz." In the movie Wayne's World, this song was performed by … Tia Carrere, former Dancing With The Stars competitor. I said it was trivial.

As of this writing I saw Ian, Billy Ray, Leeza, Paulina and Joey dance. Ian was the best, Billy Ray the worst. Leeza was surprisingly stiff, she's not doing her Lisa Rinna spot justice if she's going to dance like that.

Like I said, I'll write more once I see the whole show.
I'm thinking about trying to track the music this year, but that might be pushing my luck.

This episode was cute, but one of those that are sort of out-of-time in that they don't really advance any plotlines.  It's like an extra that they have lying around that they can drop in for whatever reason to stall for a week.  Since I'm late this week I had a chance to listen to the NBC podcast that goes with the show. Interesting things I learned:

• Ken Jennings, who plays Dr. Kelso, has a bad habit of referring to the young Asian ladies who play in his fantasy sequences as "little girls."  Maybe they really are kids, or maybe it's just something that he says, but when you're taking about a massage parlor sequence and a happy ending it's weird to hear him say things like "I could just picture that little girl having to call her mother and tell her what she did today."
• The guy that plays the delivery man is a writer/producer on the show.
• This script was the first script written by this particular writer, whose name I forget.  It shows.  It was almost like a tryout.  Here, write a show, but don't advance any of the plotlines, just make it funny.
• Laverne shouting out her name before smashing Carla's window actually was a geeky reference to the World of Warcraft character of LEEEROYYYY JENKINNSSS!  But you have to be very geeky to get that.

Anyway, on with the show!

But call me Grandpa again and you and I are gonna play a little game called "Hide the Wingtip."  There may be a generational gap here, I'll explain.  The wingtip is my shoe, and the hiding place is your ass.

Well, let's see what Enid packed for lunch today.  A stapler and a golf ball.  She's not well.

Cool, Mr. Rabinowitz just kicked it!  Oh don't worry, he put his peep in an electrical socket.  You can't do that.

Dude, I've had a pro bono like all morning.  Something-might-be-wrong five!

Why so awkward?  You never saw a colleague get a happy ending before?
  No, not that happy.
    But thank you, for including us.

I started using that new facial cream made from baby foreskins.

Oh, you think you're funny?
  I do. I always have, ever since I was little. It's one of the reasons I'm a winner.

White people do the craziest things.
  Like bumper stickers.  I don't give a damn what you break for.

Anyway, small favor.  I need your baby.  I'm getting into the baby broker business.  Nothing illicit, I'm just hooking up folks who can't have babies with folks who don't want babies.

If this is your way of trying to make me feel guilty about paving over that Indian burial ground it isn't going to work.  We needed the damn parking spaces!

Hey, Mom.  A guy tried to die on me today, but I didn't let him.  I didn't let him!

Scuse me guys, stealin scrubs here.

Well anyway, since I wasn't willing to do the things you need to do in jail to get narcotics, at least not enthusiastically, I got clean.

I have a game.  Raise your hand if you're full of crap.  Sam, if you don't raise your hand, you're going to lose the game.

Come on man, you don't know how hard it's been to stay straight.
  Been there, brother.

No, it's not bald black doctor.  It's haired, half white half Innuit janitor.

Here's what I want.  I want your baby, we already talked about that.  I want you to tell that new borderline anorexic nurse to eat a sandwich, and then to go salsa dancing with me.  Also I want you to teach me to salsa dance.  I want a pound of frankincense, mostly just to see what it is.  And, lastly, I'm in a little bit of a tiff with the main barista down at Coffee Bucks.  He's not above poisoning me so I'm gonna need you to be my official beverage taster.  Yes?

Nothing ever changes.  The artist formerly known as Prince is still just prince.  My ex-wife is still pretty much my wife.  Grey's Anatomy always wraps up every episode with some cheesy voice over that ties together all of the storylines which incidentally is my least favorite device on television.  Newbie continually will try to violate my no touching policy…uh huh….and Republicans will forever try to raise
  Sneak hug!

(Unga bunga tunga runga, tonga batonga bunga.)

I may have killed you, but I think I was upset about it.

Maybe we should post the transcript of your little "nothing ever changes" rant for the cancer patients in the chemo ward as a little pick-me-up.  Oh and FYI, I happen to like the voiceovers on Grey's Anatomy.  Except for when they're really vague and generic.
  (And so in the end, I knew what Elliot said about the way things were had forever changed the way we all thought about them.)

I don't care what you think, I'm always going to believe the best in people.
  All the best with that, Barbidiot.

Well, tunafish on a sponge.  She's getting closer.

Are you seriously doing the cliched sarcastic slow clap?  Because that's way too 1980s.

Ghost dog!  Ghost dog!

More Scrubs Quotes

If you don't always pick the obvious candidate, it's easy to play this game. Sanjaya is safe for another week.

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Well, except for Melinda and Lakisha, but you probably already knew that.

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Pretty awesome episode, even though it did have that sort of Friends "all of them in a room" vibe.  I liked the twist of the janitor kind of being part of it, but not really, by being stuck outside the door.  Some of it was stupid, of course – suddenly Carla is a stand up comedian?  Just like friends, when all of a sudden Rachel is a gossip or Monica is a photographer.  Stuff they just throw into a single episode without bothering with years of continuity.

Anyway.  Can I just say goddamn how awesome is REM's Out of Time?  I had truly forgotten just how fall down on the floor stare at the television with your jaw hanging open awesome a song like "Half A World Away" is.  I have to go dig that CD up out of my collection right now and get it onto the iPod.  There are some forgotten gems on there.

That picture's so old, the beaches are still segregated.  Look, there's us way in the back.  Doesn't that bother you?
  God, I'm stunning.

That is both very sad and not the least bit shocking.

So you want me to start with how I still can't walk normally and then segway into an anecdote about how you played my tush like a bongo until I cried out in pleasurepain?
  Sorry?
Your army buddies are gonna see it, I assume you want it filthy.
  No, filthy's cool.

You would hear crickets chirping but they were all too uncomfortable about just how unfunny that actually was.

Barbie is funniest when she's an anal retentive train wreck.  Your husband sells it with a cocky attitude.
  Well ya know, I do what I do and I do what I do.
The janitor is amusing because quite frankly, he's insane.
    I made shoes for my rabbit.
And Alice here, well, she can turn a phrase.  I assume that because I just called you Alice, you are now fantasizing about me being the maid in the Brady Bunch.  Am I right?
      He was.
Now sadly, some people just aren't funny.  But!  They've got funny names.  For example:  Dr. Beardface, Dr. Mickhead, Colonel Doctor, and Snoop Dogg Intern.
        Hey!
My bad, Snoop Dogg Resident.  The Todd is a sexual deviant, Laverne believes in God which is hilarious to me, and Ted is the hospital sad sack.
          I am?
Yes.
          Awwwww.
And me?  I'm funny because I commit. C-O-MM-I-TTTTT…T.T…TTTT.TTTT……T.  I also do funny rants.  To tell you the truth there's only one guy in this entire dump who's funny no matter what he says.
            Holy Hell are my new boxers made out of wool?  Cuz my weasel's getting heatstroke.

Bitches leave!
  It's go time.
    Nononono, we're playing guess the movie quote.  That was from Robocop.

Hi Mrs. Blue, hi it's John Dorian, I dated your beautiful daughter Stacy when we were in college.  She's dead?  She fell asleep in the pool?
  Oh my god.
Incidentally did she ever mention banging a black guy when she was in college?  Had a high top fade like Kid N Play.  Kid, Kid, Kid N Play, you know, they were a rap group.  Your dead daughter loved them.

I don't know if it's old age that's slowing me down or all that blood I lost last night fighting that hobo, but I just blew that.  I should have said, You think my job is so unimportant that I can stand around all day holding a fish?

Baby, remember?  We're supposed to renew our relations tonight for the first time since Izzie was born.

I was coming back from class and outside our room I heard, "Oh my god, it's true what they say about black guys!" So I opened the door.  And I saw you and Stacy.  So I said, "Get off my girl before I kick your ass so deep, you gonna be crappin my Keds for a week!" Then you said, "Chill out, dawg, you know you my boyyy!  This ain't be what it looks like, aight?"  But it wasn't aight, was it Turk?

I'm gonna smash it!  He knows I'm gonna smash it.  He wants me to smash it.  He wants to prove that I can't not smash it.  It's a head game.  You're not gonna win a head game with me, Dorian.  Never.  Never!

Baby I had a big old lunch, now I got the downtown pushdown!

If I wanted my patients to be more depressed I'd just have them read newbie's latest blog entry.
  "Why Being Really Lonely Is Sometimes Super Awesome."

I'm never surprised by what people will do.  Or for that matter, who they will do.

A small child vomited downstairs, it smells like pickles and milk.  Kind of like one of Enid's burps.  Consider it a chance to prove yourself.

How long have you been awake?
  Long enough to know you need to fart, and Carla's not funny, and JD's imitation of a black guy is really racist.
    He be trippin!

Not to worry, I'm sure there's a huge demand out there for a high school grad who can't sign his name and gets confused by stuff that wouldn't phase a five year old.

Of course, some admissions you don't see coming.
  I once tried to kill myself.

(After Elliot told us she'd tried to commit suicide, I had to ask the question that was on everybody's mind.)  "Was it because I broke up with you?"

Well they both killed themselves.  Plath stuck her head in the oven,  but that was not an option for me because every time my head gets hot I need to pee and I was not about to be found lying in a puddle of my own urine.  Not again, not after the prom fiasco.

None of you guys have any idea what it feels like to feel this hopeless in your life.  You know, other than JD.

That's right.  And my baby being happy is worth all the vaginal dryness in the world.
  (And none of us would ever look at Carla the same way again.)

If I'd known back then you were just gonna go ahead and give up I would have saved myself a huge hassle, smothered you with a pillow and spent all my extra time catching up on newbie's pathetic blog.
  (Oh my god he referenced me in a tough love speech.  Stop smiling!)

More Scrubs Quotes

Some real surprises this time. And none of them for the better, unfortunately.

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Thanks for the ride Lloyd, this DUI is such a hassle.
  Been there bro.  Been there.
Alcohol?
  Crack.

Oh babe, I didn't want whipped cream.
  Oh well let me fix it for you, babe.
    And this isn't soy.
      Sucks to be you.I'll go get your coffee.
Do you know how lucky you are to have a husband?

My mom thinks I should test his love by saying I'm knocked up.  If he doesn't propose on the spot, I just demand that he gives me six hundred dollars for the abortion, dump him, and ease my sadness with a brand new pair of Jimmy Chus.  That's how she got her rad shoe collection in college.

Thanks for the biscotti, Obi Brown.
  No problem, Luke.

I really want to rent this place but once I told the landlord about my DUI and how I sometimes pass out when I poo he said I need someone to co-sign the lease, what's with that?

He was a beautiful black blur.

I'd love to put my ear on her butt and see if I could hear the ocean.
  Brian, you're doing that thing where you say your thoughts out loud.  It's a side effect of his injury.  (It wasn't, but we've been having some fun since we came up with that.)

I'm gonna have your baby so hard, baby!

Good morning, reasons why I drink.

Oh these glasses, they're not prescription but I figured I'd wear 'em so I can fit in with you medical geeks.

(Cool, a new black resident!  Oh, it's just Turk.)  Hi Turk!

Brian can't hold small objects.
  I had an ex-girlfriend that had the same problem.  No she didn't.  That's awkward.

Plus I'm a tent-dwelling poop-fainter who can't drive.
  I have a fiberglass skull.
It's always a competition with you.

Were you thinking about me?
  I always think about you when I'm in the box, you know that.

Living with a guy before marriage makes me feel too whorey.
  You can live in separate states, but if you're doing the nasty before you get married, your ass is gonna burn.

Lupus…does she live on the second floor?  Does she live upstairs from you?  I think you have seen her before.

You "cut and run", if you will.  That's right, it's not just a phrase used by political pundits who wear bowties.  It is also the number one reason why all of you should pray to god, or in your case Rex, Moko the Samoan Bird King, that you never have to be treated by these flesh hungry butchers.  Jenny, take his glasses as a trophy.

You wait, eventually you'll crave his approval and be just like me.
  (And still, as I thought about Dr. Cox I knew JD was right.)
See?

Everything's awesome we're great everything's great.
  What do you mean we're great?  We haven't had box sex in days.

I don't see what's insane about not wanting spiders to lay eggs in my cornflakes, that's how Carla's mom died.
  No it wasn't.
You're supposed to be my best friend!

Oh my God, how hard is it for you to use a frickin coaster you frickin fricky frick?!

Here's the deal Keith, my house my rules.
  I thought this was our place.
No Keith, this is my place.  You just rent a room.

Presenting the world's longest shush…. ShhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhI'm gonna go ahead and stop, I'm not committing the way I normally do.  I'm gonna go away, regroup, maybe seeya later.

(I knew right then that somehow I'd make Dr. Cox…)
  Seriously dude stop doing that.  That's my thing.

Every godawful year Enid's wheelchair rusts in the salt water, Harrison spends my money getting his hair braided by trannies, and I fall asleep in the sun.  Don't page me.

Damned trannies got me in my sleep.

To mutton chops!  Actually, these are fake.  I did this to make a point.  You have to think for yourself.  Don't be a sheep, follow the fold.  I want you to repeat after me:  I think for myself.
  I think for myself!
You can't tell me what to say.
  You can't tell me what to say!
I won't say this.
  I won't say this!
Lalalalalalala.
  lalalalalalala.
Unbelievable.
  Unbelievable.

So this patient has fever of 103, renal failure and platelets of 25,000.  What is the diagnosis and management?
  *Bam*, put em down!  It's obvious the patient is septic.  I'd treat him with an activated protein C.  Boyakasha!
Dr. Turk that's just an excellent diagnosis.  However, with his low platelet count treatment with activated protein C would cause what, class?
    Brain hemorrhage.
And what would that cause?
      His death!  Sorry, I got so excited. People were yelling things out.

I recently broke up with my girlfriend who I impregnated on the first date.  Don't worry, she miscarried.  Ok.  And I haven't even begun to think about asking anyone else out mostly because I'm concerned the stress lovemaking would put on my body would cause me to pass out, much like I do when I defecate.

Any last shots you want to take at me?
  You have diabetes and you can't eat cupcakes.

More Scrubs Quotes

Antonella sticks around. Let's just get that out of the way. And it looks like Kellie Pickler's spending her money on more than new shoes.

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A clip show? A CLIP SHOW? Not only that … a BAD clip show! Ok, fine, JD started the whole thing out with a joke about crappy sitcoms resorting to clip shows when they have no new ideas. But still, let's look at just how much effort they put into this one:

• A fantasize sequence of JD actually drinking milk from Turk who has a cow's udder. Why didn't you just go the whole way and have him suck it from the tap? I bet the writers are just kicking themselves that nobody thought to make a "Have you got any sausage for me" joke.
• Dr. Cox is frickin *bald*, and no one says anything. Last episode it was Carla with a cane for no reason, and now it's Dr. Cox bald for no reason. They're just not even trying for consistency anymore. Sad.
• JD is the one fantasizing about all his memorable moments, and yet he's not in a bunch of them. There's a clip about Brendan Fraser's ghost, for god's sake.
• Update I originally thought that the shower shorts clips were out of order, but I've been told otherwise. Still, horrible show.

At least it gives me a break this week to catch up on other episodes.