There's a story in the news today about an army veteran who, on camera for the local news, cut down a Mexican flag that was illegally being flown above a US flag. Quote: "I'm Jim Brossert and I took this flag down in honor of my country with a knife from the United States army. I'm a veteran, I am not going to see this done to my country. if they want to fight us, then they need to be men, and they need to come and fight us, but I want somebody to fight me for this flag. They're not going to get it back." What he actually stole was their American flag, leaving the Mexican one on the ground.

And if you only read that part of the story, you should well be thinking "Amen, Brother. Now there's a real patriot, drive those illegals back across the border where they belong!"

Only thing, though, is that the store owner is in fact an American citizen, and had no idea that it was illegal to do what he was doing. Apparently nobody bothered to ask him to take it down, they just went for the news story. Still the right thing to do, ya think? A bit of an overreaction?

So now what you've got is a guy without enough knowledge of the situation who took it upon himself to steal another citizen's property, and getting on the news for it – as the good guy. That's patriotism?

In this corner we have Danny Bonaduce, who people of my age will remember as the little redhaired kid on the Patridge Family and who people of this generation will know as a raging alcoholic with violent tendencies. And in the other corner we have Johnny Fairplay, a man so annoying he makes the Dalai Lama want to punch him in the face. Fairplay's only contribution to society thus far was to trick the producers of Survivor Season 2 (it's in season 9 currently – that was 7 years ago people!) that his grandmother had died. He's basically been hanging around ever since.

It's probably worth mentioning that Danny, the guy with known violent tendencies? Is a trained martial artist. And Johnny, at half his size, basically stays on camera by being annoying.

So,guess who'd win in a fight?

Here's the context. Fairplay is on stage at some reality awards show, and people are booing. Danny wanders on stage, apparently because "someone in a headset" told him to, and says "They're booing you because they hate you." He then give him a friendly tap as if to say "There you go, I helped you with your bit, see ya" and walks away. Johnny, trying to make more of a bit out of it, runs at Danny and does what he calls his "monkey humping routine". If you've seen him do this, it was probably expected. But if you had no clue what he was doing, it probably came as something of a shock.

So, Danny just flips Johnny up and over his (Danny's) head, where Johnny lands on his face and smashes his teeth.

The question going around is, and I quote TMZ.com, "Who's the douche?" Fairplay already claims (from the hospital) to have pressed felony assault charges. Danny is doing the radio talk show circuit to defend himself.

The video really makes it pretty clear, and I think Danny was at fault. Don't get me wrong, I hate the other guy, and at least in theory he's the kind of guy you want to punch in the face. But when you actually see him thrown on his face by a guy twice his size, when all he was trying to do was get a laugh, you say "Well, wait, maybe he didn't deserve *that*." The biggest reason I think it's Danny's problem, though? Never once did he turn around and look to see if the guy was ok. No acknowledgement of "Damn I hurt him" or anything like that. He just played to the audience like he'd done what they wanted. He knew he hurt the guy (he watches Fairplay get up and walk offstage), and he didn't care. He smiled and shrugged. That's not really cool. I would think that even in a fight, if you put a guy on the ground, you have at least some concern about whether you've damaged the dude.