You're on the wrong week, check out the results for 3/8/07 where, yes, Sundance did get eliminated.

Pretty awesome episode, even though it did have that sort of Friends "all of them in a room" vibe.  I liked the twist of the janitor kind of being part of it, but not really, by being stuck outside the door.  Some of it was stupid, of course – suddenly Carla is a stand up comedian?  Just like friends, when all of a sudden Rachel is a gossip or Monica is a photographer.  Stuff they just throw into a single episode without bothering with years of continuity.

Anyway.  Can I just say goddamn how awesome is REM's Out of Time?  I had truly forgotten just how fall down on the floor stare at the television with your jaw hanging open awesome a song like "Half A World Away" is.  I have to go dig that CD up out of my collection right now and get it onto the iPod.  There are some forgotten gems on there.

That picture's so old, the beaches are still segregated.  Look, there's us way in the back.  Doesn't that bother you?
  God, I'm stunning.

That is both very sad and not the least bit shocking.

So you want me to start with how I still can't walk normally and then segway into an anecdote about how you played my tush like a bongo until I cried out in pleasurepain?
  Sorry?
Your army buddies are gonna see it, I assume you want it filthy.
  No, filthy's cool.

You would hear crickets chirping but they were all too uncomfortable about just how unfunny that actually was.

Barbie is funniest when she's an anal retentive train wreck.  Your husband sells it with a cocky attitude.
  Well ya know, I do what I do and I do what I do.
The janitor is amusing because quite frankly, he's insane.
    I made shoes for my rabbit.
And Alice here, well, she can turn a phrase.  I assume that because I just called you Alice, you are now fantasizing about me being the maid in the Brady Bunch.  Am I right?
      He was.
Now sadly, some people just aren't funny.  But!  They've got funny names.  For example:  Dr. Beardface, Dr. Mickhead, Colonel Doctor, and Snoop Dogg Intern.
        Hey!
My bad, Snoop Dogg Resident.  The Todd is a sexual deviant, Laverne believes in God which is hilarious to me, and Ted is the hospital sad sack.
          I am?
Yes.
          Awwwww.
And me?  I'm funny because I commit. C-O-MM-I-TTTTT…T.T…TTTT.TTTT……T.  I also do funny rants.  To tell you the truth there's only one guy in this entire dump who's funny no matter what he says.
            Holy Hell are my new boxers made out of wool?  Cuz my weasel's getting heatstroke.

Bitches leave!
  It's go time.
    Nononono, we're playing guess the movie quote.  That was from Robocop.

Hi Mrs. Blue, hi it's John Dorian, I dated your beautiful daughter Stacy when we were in college.  She's dead?  She fell asleep in the pool?
  Oh my god.
Incidentally did she ever mention banging a black guy when she was in college?  Had a high top fade like Kid N Play.  Kid, Kid, Kid N Play, you know, they were a rap group.  Your dead daughter loved them.

I don't know if it's old age that's slowing me down or all that blood I lost last night fighting that hobo, but I just blew that.  I should have said, You think my job is so unimportant that I can stand around all day holding a fish?

Baby, remember?  We're supposed to renew our relations tonight for the first time since Izzie was born.

I was coming back from class and outside our room I heard, "Oh my god, it's true what they say about black guys!" So I opened the door.  And I saw you and Stacy.  So I said, "Get off my girl before I kick your ass so deep, you gonna be crappin my Keds for a week!" Then you said, "Chill out, dawg, you know you my boyyy!  This ain't be what it looks like, aight?"  But it wasn't aight, was it Turk?

I'm gonna smash it!  He knows I'm gonna smash it.  He wants me to smash it.  He wants to prove that I can't not smash it.  It's a head game.  You're not gonna win a head game with me, Dorian.  Never.  Never!

Baby I had a big old lunch, now I got the downtown pushdown!

If I wanted my patients to be more depressed I'd just have them read newbie's latest blog entry.
  "Why Being Really Lonely Is Sometimes Super Awesome."

I'm never surprised by what people will do.  Or for that matter, who they will do.

A small child vomited downstairs, it smells like pickles and milk.  Kind of like one of Enid's burps.  Consider it a chance to prove yourself.

How long have you been awake?
  Long enough to know you need to fart, and Carla's not funny, and JD's imitation of a black guy is really racist.
    He be trippin!

Not to worry, I'm sure there's a huge demand out there for a high school grad who can't sign his name and gets confused by stuff that wouldn't phase a five year old.

Of course, some admissions you don't see coming.
  I once tried to kill myself.

(After Elliot told us she'd tried to commit suicide, I had to ask the question that was on everybody's mind.)  "Was it because I broke up with you?"

Well they both killed themselves.  Plath stuck her head in the oven,  but that was not an option for me because every time my head gets hot I need to pee and I was not about to be found lying in a puddle of my own urine.  Not again, not after the prom fiasco.

None of you guys have any idea what it feels like to feel this hopeless in your life.  You know, other than JD.

That's right.  And my baby being happy is worth all the vaginal dryness in the world.
  (And none of us would ever look at Carla the same way again.)

If I'd known back then you were just gonna go ahead and give up I would have saved myself a huge hassle, smothered you with a pillow and spent all my extra time catching up on newbie's pathetic blog.
  (Oh my god he referenced me in a tough love speech.  Stop smiling!)

More Scrubs Quotes

sun dance i thnk got eleminatad

I'd ask if you were my cousin Renee but she got married and she's got a different last name now so I'll assume you're not her :).

Some real surprises this time. And none of them for the better, unfortunately.

Read more…

Wow–I googled the lyrics to this song, and what's the first place I find? A website with my last name…imagine that!

The song is Le Disko by Shiny Toy Guns