Man, I just can't do it. There's no way I can transcribe an entire ensemble musical. 🙁 It'll take me forever, I'll still get parts of it wrong, and it'll still be impossible to read because of all the group numbers.
How was it? Honestly, I really liked it. The first big number (and Dr. Kelso's only real contribution) was pretty painful, but it got steadily better. The last numbers in particular were very good indeed. The storyline is even good – woman comes in with a mysterious illness that makes her hear music when people talk to her. Apparently a true story, as many Scrubs episodes often are.
Man, the lyrics to some of the songs are really pretty forced. There's a whole song about poo, for heaven's sake. Although it does end up sounding very Monty Python. I'm sure people will love it, of course. Didn't do much for me. The Dr. Cox Rant is probably the best song, in my book. Dr. Cox can't sing worth beans, but he delivered a musical rant very well. The Turk and Carla Tango is very nice as well. "Guy Love" is disqualified because it's been available on iTunes for a few weeks now as a trailer. The finale ends up being a pretty slow, serious number which is very good, including a solo from the patient with the problem. (P.S. – I think it's funny that when I pause the show, Tivo shows me what is apparently an ad for Puerto Rico. Given the Turk and Carla number, that is. I wonder if it was context sensitive or just a coincidence?)Anyway, I'll see if I can transcribe some of the better lines.
Oh, well how about this for an explanation: she's cuckoo pants.
Hey Ms. Miller, we just need a stool sample.
Why do you need a stool sample, if you think I'm just a nut?
Cuz the answer's not in your head my dear, it's in your butt.
You see, everything comes down to poo.
All across the nation, we trust in defecation.
Just be a man and eat some bran, and drop the kids off at the pool.
I was shot!Check the poo. Homeless guy threw poo in my eye!
Check the poo.
Mine or his?
First him, then you.
Dr. Cox, I'm not crazy.
Am I still singing?
Singing like a bird.
Still, you're not nearly as bad as her. Do you know how much you annoy me? The answer is, alot. Should I list the reasons why? Well I don't see why not. It's your hair your nose your chinless face you always need a hug, not to mention all the manly appletini's that you chug. That you think I am your mentor just continues to perplex, and oh my god stop telling me when you have nerdy sex!
By the way last time Kim was in town, we got some appletini's and poured them on her good parts.
See newbie that's the thing you do that drives me up a tree, cuz no matter how I rant at you you never let me be. So I'm stuck with all your daydreaming, your wish to be my son. It makes me suicidal and I'm not the only one. No I'm not the only one…
It all started with a penny in the door. There was a hatred I had never felt before. So now I'll make him pay, each and every day. Until that moussed hair little nuance is no more.
So now that is why I call you names like Carol Jane and Sue. Like Moesha Kim and Lilly and Suzanne and Betty Lou. Regardless of the names I pick my feelings are quite clear, your a pain in every day of every month of every year.
Dr. Cox you gotta help me cuz I really am distressed, can't you find another option won't you run another test?
If you want some kind of favor really any kind of favor please just get me peace and quiet from this godforsaken pest.
I think what my bumper buddy is trying to say…
Shut your cakehole Marybeth, or I swear to god I'll shut it soon!
Congratulations, we'll schedule your test this afternoon.
Sometimes you're better off not knowing, but this isn't one of those times. Your world's become a musical, and your doctors speak in rhymes.
Guy Love, that's all there is. Guy Love, he's mine I'm his. There's nothing gay about it in our eyes.
We're closer than the average man and wife.
That's why our matching bracelets say Turk and J.D.
You know I'll stick by you for the rest of my life.
You're the only man who's ever been inside of me!
Whoa, whoa, I just took out his appendix.
It's like I married my best friend.
But in a totally manly way!
JD, I want to live by myself.
Ok, no problem. Turk, with you relay this?
That means you guys are no longer talking.
Turk, I want to come back to work, it's who I am.
Oh. Well I always thought family was the most important thing to Puerto Ricans.
Don't make a big todo, I was simply testing you.
Then why'd you tell JD our baby's blaxican?
Babe you know I know the truth.
Well I'll need a little proof, so list all you know about me or no sex again.
Your name is Carla, you are Latina. You're a nurse, your mother's dead and wait…I got it! Three sisters.
Turk!
Two sisters? Well I'm sure you have a brother who's a huge jerkoff.
Tell me what's my middle name?
Ok I'm tired of this game.
What's going to happen? What does the future hold? So many things that I've put off, assuming I had time.
Plan for tomorrow, because we swear to you, you're going to be ok.
You're going to be ok, that's what's going to happen.
By the way, who's the best singer? You know, in your head. Don't let the fact that I went to theatre camp affect your decision.
Sometimes when you get what you want, you end up missing what you left behind. Whether it's your roommate, or time spent with your child. Or even the music you used to hear in your head.