[BlogEntry] Scrubs Quotes : My Words of Wisdom

I enjoyed this episode.  Supposedly about everyone mourning Laverne in their own way, I really didn't see too much of Laverne in it.  But the comedy bits were nice, including JD's funeral, and all the interaction between JD, Turk and Janitor.  Here's a note from the podcast — apparently in the JD's funeral sequence, there was supposed to be a bit where the reverend refers to JD's "valiant but futile attempt to save the world from the hostile alien takeover", and then cut to a space alien looking at his watch and giving the "hurry it up" gesture.  In other words that the invasion had occurred and they were holding up the destruction of the human race so that the funeral could take place.  I thought that would have been funny, but they cut it.

You named our daughter JD.  Why would you do such a thing?
  I was hoping that you would hate the name so much that you wouldn't be able to hide your spite from your daughter and she would love me more than you.

I did her autopsy.
  I'm her uncle.
Your niece had beautiful guts.

Hell, I love ya newbie.  I should have done this a long time ago.
  I knew you loved me, I just had to fake my own death to prove it.  He loves me everyone, can I get an amen?  Woo, God is good!

Are you an idiot?
  No sir, I'm a dreamer.

It's like her feet are giving me the peace sign.

Dr. Cox?
  You might want to knock, he's in an imaginary glass bubble.
I need help with a patient.
    Twenty minutes.
Ok.  How long does it take an old woman to bleed to death?

Oh, you're deaf too.  What are the odds?  I'm a doctor, I should know that.

I'm the trailer trashy pop star who rarely wears underwear, and you're one of my backup dancers who's not sure about his sexuality.  yet. 
  I don't want to do Britney and K-Fed anymore.  Ever since the divorce it's too sad.

Well when I was in high school  I was a volunteer janitor at the Hoboken Zoo.  And one night I was out plucking peacock feathers to sell for pens when I noticed Gary the gorilla making the sign for food. I gave him my danish, he gave the sign for thank you. It was the only two signs that Gary knew.  Except for boobs.  He liked em big and hairy.
  Join the club, player.
Get away.  So eventually Gary I'm sorry to say died of lung cancer.  For that I blame myself because I used to share my smokes with him.  But he also peaked my interest in signing and in his memory I took my first signing class.
    Is any of that true?
Someone would have to read it back to me.

What's up your kiboodle?
It's my new word I'm trying out to replace ass.

Can you teach me how to sign 'I think we can fix your son's hearing"?
  Or I could just tell him.
I think it's best if he hear it from a doctor.
  No, you just want the glory. Are you really that emotionally needy?
Have we not met?
  Oh, you're right, I'm sorry.  Wasn't thinking.

Elliot, this relationship isn't working for me.
  Well that sucks kiboodle.

You know if we learned sign language we could talk in the movies without Carla yelling at us.
  Yeah but it's so dark how could we see what we're signing?
We'd get special glow in the dark signing gloves.
  Yeah but then the popcorn butter would get all over the gloves!
Why do you keep poking holes in this?  We'd cut off the fingertips.

Ha! You nagger.
  Hey, what you just call him, you punkass?
A nagger.
  Oh.  We cool.

Laverne was our friend, and people are walking around like she never existed.  It's not right, you know?
  Yup.  Tough crap.
Excuse me?
  You can't tell other people how to feel, you just can't.  Some want to cry, that's fine.  Others may choose to laugh and guess what, that's ok too. Plus you don't know what's going on inside people's heads.  Take…take PeePants here.  Now how do you know he's not thinking about Laverne right now?
    I am thinking about her.  I haven't seen my cellphone since her autopsy.  You don't think if I call it…
  You're done.  So to sum up, tough crap.  Hope that helps.

We're just wondering if we have any legal recourse?
  Just give me one second.
    Are you looking for a legal precedent?
  No I'm looking up the word 'recourse'.

Who could you possibly go to if the father won't sign a consent form?  Here's a hint, it begins with an M and ends with an R.
  Marg Helgenberger!

I"m glad it's not Marg.  We did not end well.  Hell hath no fury like a Helgenberger scorned.

You know Carla, sometimes you can be a real kiboodle hole.

I've been watching you for 20 years, champ.  Your joy comes from being needed.  That's who you are.

And tell him, if you know the sign that is, BooYah!
    Nazi salute.
  My bad.

You know when I was a kid, I made my dad teach me sign language so I could communicate with my deaf sister. I ended up closer to her than with anyone.  I think Mr. Francis is afraid of losing that.  
  Is any of that true?
Mostly. My dad died before I was born.
  Wait a minute I met your dad!
You met a man.


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