[BlogEntry] Scrubs Quotes : My Turf War

Am I the only one who thinks that Turk has been a bit of a jerk lately? In Their Story he just decided for himself, without ever consulting the patient, that her surgery was a bad idea and then he went about trying to stop it, including going over The Todd's head without a second thought. And then this week it's one thing that he's having fun with Dr. Cox to prove a point, but then he goes and ruins it with that whole "Don't mess with me ever" stuff. Not liking this new side of his character at all.

Come on Elliot, let me just borrow it for a couple of days, I promise I'll bring it back.
  No, I need it.  Now go. Whenever he goes away he always wants to take my tushy.
    He should just do what I did when we were dating, wait until you fall asleep naked and then take a picture of it.
  Did you actually do that?
    No.  (It's my screensaver!)

I have chest tinglies.
  Lloyd, you're 40 years old and you're a delivery man so you should be suffering from a pretty severe case of the where-did-I-go-wrongsies.

Welcome to Turk's Booty Breakdown.

Booya!  Busdriver us home.

Why don't people dance the Bus Driver anymore?
  Because it's not a real dance.
For us honkies it's a very important dance.

I was the tramp, ya old bitch!
  Liking her.

Why does this bedsheet have two holes in it?
  That's on me.  Sometimes at night I haunt pediatrics.

You on the other hand, you're just not formidable enough to have ever earned my respect.  I don't even know why I'm speaking to you.  In fact, I'm going to stop speaking right in the middle of whatever I'm…

Hey, weren't we in an airband together?

Does heart trouble run in your family?
  Well my uncle was shot in the heart.

Besides, I'm only picking on the tonsil cases.  The spoiled ones who get ice cream with every meal.  You know what I had to eat when I had my tonsils out?
Hot coffee and granola bars. Hot and scratchy!

I'm a little tired, I was up all night learning to rollerblade.  I want the ghost to be a little more glidey.

Nice drink, does it come in hetero?

Elliott's running a little late, you want to play darts or maybe sing showtunes?
  (Don't say showtunes, it's a trap!)
I guess we could makeout.
  (Wait, what now?)

Did I get drunk last night and send you an email asking for your opinion about what I did?
  I don't know.  I didn't check.

What horrible thing did Turk do to piss you off in the first place?
  He asked me to occasionally toss him a good surgery.

I don't got change for that.
  He doesn't got change, that's how he says that. 

You know what Frank, I'm gonna do it.  One hundred dollars for an appletini that was quite frankly light on the tini.

Elliott, will you marry me?
  No way!
    (Yup.  Such is life.)


More Scrubs Quotes

[BlogEntry] Scrubs Quotes : Their Story

So what's up with plastic surgery?
  Dude, it's amazing.  Just when you think you can't see another pair of great boobs, you see an awesome dong.

Now Lloyd, given your past history as a dirtbag junkie I have to ask:  did you take any of Uncle Bob's needles?
  No sir, I don't use needles anymore.
Oh, so you got clean?
  Nope!  Sign here.
This is a straw, Lloyd.

Everything's jumbo on the Todd.  (Doesn't matter that he's a dude. People should know, you're well endowed.)

Now, let's see who I can sit with that will drive me the least insane.

(Oh, what a sweet moment, I should ruin it.)  Stop that!  We're on me now.

(Aww, he didn't give you a cardboard sleeve.  Still, don't rock the boat, you don't want people staring. Besides, how hot can it be?  HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!  HUGE MISTAKE!  HUGE MISTAKE!  Just keep moving, no one saw that.)

It's not a surprise party, Ted.  It'll never be.

I know I'd be a lot happier with some extra cash.  Or a friend.  Or hair.

I wonder if they'd still do me after I buried Mom?

Rounds sucked today.
  I know.  Doctor Wen didn't set me up once.  He didn't say bone, organ, or suction.  I mean I did what I could with carpal tunnel, but I don't think people got that I was using that as a metaphor for vagina.

(Turk's bummed, he definitely needs a high five.  But which one?  Chin up five?  Tough to be black five?  Need a hug five, need a tug five?  Wait, what's he talking about?  Ok, just take the last word he says and add a five to it.)
  I dunno, it all seems just a little unfair.
Unfair five.
  Thanks man, you always know the right things to say.
I work hard on those.

Here, take the fake sugars, because I hope you get cancer I really do.  Well,  my parents were really mean to me.

I know this is a slowdown, but I can't really work any slower than I already do, so I have to come to a complete stop. Now if you're asking why I'm standing here, specifically?  I replaced that bulb with a tanning bulb.  I'm tired of being the only white guy at my mosque.

(Whatever you think is right, sir.)  You're an ass!  (Ted you idiot!  You just said the out loud thing in your head and the in your head thing out loud!  Don't make eye contact, just keep moving…)

All I'm saying is, it's not right, the girl's only 16.
  Yeah I felt the same way, until her mother's check cleared.

Internal uh-oh five.

I'm so sorry sweetheart, I was just with this super rude patient whose heart kept stopping. He's dead now, but darnitall he should have known that my ex-wife was down here jonesing for a cosmo!

(Oh great, there he goes off into his fantasy world.  Now I'm stuck here waiting until he snaps out of it with some weird comment.)
  But we'd have to find a whole lot of gnomes!
That's helpful.

I can't have her digging up the skeletons in my closet.  Although technically they won't be skeletons for another six to eight weeks, right now they're just dead badgers.

(I need someone Turk will listen to.  Someone persuasive.  Forceful.  Sensitive.  If only my dong could talk!)

What are you thinking, Ted?
  (I could jam this through the soft spot in his temple and then slit my wrists with it before anyone got in here to stop me.)  The usual, sir.
Well you'd never do it, you don't have the guts.

If it's ok with you, we'll take that raise now sir.
  Ok, but in this little fantasy of yours can I not have prostate problems anymore?  I can't sleep 40 minutes without having to take a wizz.

Ted, are you responsible for this?
  Please, sir.  I don't have the guts. (OH YEAH!  SUCK IT, BITCH!  I WILL MURDER YOU!)

Hell, to make Perry feel inadequate sometimes I fake not having orgasms.

The point is, if you want to be happy, you should never ever listen to me.
  You maybe also want to say you're sorry?
I do not.


More Scrubs Quotes

[Comment] Re: American Idol : Lyrics to Home, by Chris Daughtry

I love this song!I can hear this song over and over again.

[Comment] Re: American Idol 4/25/2007 : Who got kicked off?

Jeff Beck, wasn't it? Or was he playing for someone else?

[BlogEntry] Blades of Glory

Man, movie choices these days are just horrible. Kerry and I went to the movies last night for my birthday, and the only thing up and worth seeing was Blades of Glory, Will Ferrell's movie. Everything else was some variation on murder/slasher/horror movie. The only other choice would have been Hot Fuzz, which looks funny, but since all the reviews talk about the high body count I wasn't sure if that one was violent, too.

Will Ferrell's only really got one character, doesn't he? Blades of Glory is Ron Burgundy On Ice, only….well, dumber. Half the movie doesn't even make any sense, there are plot holes, inconsistent special effects, characters that just disappear for no reason… All in all, pretty stupid.

[BlogEntry] Where can you get those stroller "stand and ride" attachments?

We're on the lookout for this stroller attachment that allows a toddler to "stand and ride" along with her younger siblings. There are several strollers made specifically for this, but we already have a double stroller (Graco) and we'd rather find something that works with that then invest in a whole new one. There's a company called Lascal, apparently out of Sweden, that makes such a device called the Buggy Board. The only problem is that my first googling of them turned up a product recall because the thing breaks and the kids can fall and hurt themselves. Great. Granted that was in 2004 so I'm sure it's fixed now, but still, I went to their website and it's horrendous, not a single piece of information about where or how to buy the product.

So does anybody know what I'm talking about? Have one? Know where to buy them?