Entries from April 2007 ↓

The fact that I can even consider an analogy with New Orleans after the hurricane does not bode well.

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I enjoyed this episode.  Supposedly about everyone mourning Laverne in their own way, I really didn't see too much of Laverne in it.  But the comedy bits were nice, including JD's funeral, and all the interaction between JD, Turk and Janitor.  Here's a note from the podcast — apparently in the JD's funeral sequence, there was supposed to be a bit where the reverend refers to JD's "valiant but futile attempt to save the world from the hostile alien takeover", and then cut to a space alien looking at his watch and giving the "hurry it up" gesture.  In other words that the invasion had occurred and they were holding up the destruction of the human race so that the funeral could take place.  I thought that would have been funny, but they cut it.

You named our daughter JD.  Why would you do such a thing?
  I was hoping that you would hate the name so much that you wouldn't be able to hide your spite from your daughter and she would love me more than you.

I did her autopsy.
  I'm her uncle.
Your niece had beautiful guts.

Hell, I love ya newbie.  I should have done this a long time ago.
  I knew you loved me, I just had to fake my own death to prove it.  He loves me everyone, can I get an amen?  Woo, God is good!

Are you an idiot?
  No sir, I'm a dreamer.

It's like her feet are giving me the peace sign.

Dr. Cox?
  You might want to knock, he's in an imaginary glass bubble.
I need help with a patient.
    Twenty minutes.
Ok.  How long does it take an old woman to bleed to death?

Oh, you're deaf too.  What are the odds?  I'm a doctor, I should know that.

I'm the trailer trashy pop star who rarely wears underwear, and you're one of my backup dancers who's not sure about his sexuality.  yet. 
  I don't want to do Britney and K-Fed anymore.  Ever since the divorce it's too sad.

Well when I was in high school  I was a volunteer janitor at the Hoboken Zoo.  And one night I was out plucking peacock feathers to sell for pens when I noticed Gary the gorilla making the sign for food. I gave him my danish, he gave the sign for thank you. It was the only two signs that Gary knew.  Except for boobs.  He liked em big and hairy.
  Join the club, player.
Get away.  So eventually Gary I'm sorry to say died of lung cancer.  For that I blame myself because I used to share my smokes with him.  But he also peaked my interest in signing and in his memory I took my first signing class.
    Is any of that true?
Someone would have to read it back to me.

What's up your kiboodle?
  Kiboodle?
It's my new word I'm trying out to replace ass.

Can you teach me how to sign 'I think we can fix your son's hearing"?
  Or I could just tell him.
I think it's best if he hear it from a doctor.
  No, you just want the glory. Are you really that emotionally needy?
Have we not met?
  Oh, you're right, I'm sorry.  Wasn't thinking.

Elliot, this relationship isn't working for me.
  Well that sucks kiboodle.

You know if we learned sign language we could talk in the movies without Carla yelling at us.
  Yeah but it's so dark how could we see what we're signing?
We'd get special glow in the dark signing gloves.
  Yeah but then the popcorn butter would get all over the gloves!
Why do you keep poking holes in this?  We'd cut off the fingertips.

Ha! You nagger.
  Hey, what you just call him, you punkass?
A nagger.
  Oh.  We cool.

Laverne was our friend, and people are walking around like she never existed.  It's not right, you know?
  Yup.  Tough crap.
Excuse me?
  You can't tell other people how to feel, you just can't.  Some want to cry, that's fine.  Others may choose to laugh and guess what, that's ok too. Plus you don't know what's going on inside people's heads.  Take…take PeePants here.  Now how do you know he's not thinking about Laverne right now?
    I am thinking about her.  I haven't seen my cellphone since her autopsy.  You don't think if I call it…
  You're done.  So to sum up, tough crap.  Hope that helps.

We're just wondering if we have any legal recourse?
  Just give me one second.
    Are you looking for a legal precedent?
  No I'm looking up the word 'recourse'.

Who could you possibly go to if the father won't sign a consent form?  Here's a hint, it begins with an M and ends with an R.
  Marg Helgenberger!

I"m glad it's not Marg.  We did not end well.  Hell hath no fury like a Helgenberger scorned.

You know Carla, sometimes you can be a real kiboodle hole.

I've been watching you for 20 years, champ.  Your joy comes from being needed.  That's who you are.

And tell him, if you know the sign that is, BooYah!
  BOO YAH!
    Nazi salute.
  My bad.

You know when I was a kid, I made my dad teach me sign language so I could communicate with my deaf sister. I ended up closer to her than with anyone.  I think Mr. Francis is afraid of losing that.  
  Is any of that true?
Mostly. My dad died before I was born.
  Wait a minute I met your dad!
You met a man.

More Scrubs Quotes

Today is supposed to be rainy with a chance of a little snow. Having heard that on the news/weather this morning, here's Elizabeth's version:

"Spring has an appointment. Spring's not coming today. After Easter, Spring is not coming. Winter is today."

It's almost like a haiku.

Haley has nothing to worry about. She will get picked up easily. She's got the look and singing can be altered.

Listen: Kurt Vonnegut died. That sucks. I just wrote about him a few weeks ago.

It's impossible to compare Vonnegut to any other writer. Read one thing he's written, any single one, and you'll want to go out and get your hands on everything else. Perhaps his most famous was Slaughterhouse Five, a war story with the simple twist that its hero, Billy Pilgrim, "has come unstuck in time." Or maybe it was Cat's Cradle and its examination of the fictional religion Bokononism. Breakfast of Champions? Harrison Bergeron? Sirens of Titan, Player Piano? I can't pick a favorite. I may have to go up into my box in the attic and get them all out again.

BoingBoing.net is keeping track of all the tributes that are going up.

Po-tee-wheet?

Trying something different this year. As my birthday approaches, I finally got around to creating an Amazon wish list with some stuff on it. It's over there on the sidebar.

So if anybody reading this is planning on asking what I want for my birthday, there's a good place to start. 🙂 Maybe some random rich stranger who's a big fan of my Dancing with the Stars recaps will send me some toys? Yeah, sure.

Update: Nonono, this is old, you want this week's update!

Short and simple this week, I have very little time for recapping. Once again Sanjaya is not even in the bottom three. This week it's Phil, Chris R and Haley. I guess we don't get to see her legs anymore, Haley is going home.

I don't get annoyed by Sanjaya. I get annoyed by an internet worth of people saying "Hey, you know, I'm not so sure that American Idol is a singing competition anymore, I think it's more of a popularity contest." Ya think? The only time that American Idol was a singing competition was the first season, when nobody really knew what to expect. Ever since then it's been all about getting the fanbase and campaigning bigger than the next guy. The problem is that once it was about picking who you really thought was the best singer (i.e. Ruben versus Clay or Bo versus Carrie), now it's about picking somebody who is a funny choice. Nobody thinks Sanjaya is the best singer, so even though it's their right to vote for whoever they want, it's ultimately ruining the premise of the show. If he does end up winning (which I don't expect will happen), it would basically be the end of whatever credibility the show still has.

More American Idol stories…

Technorati: American Idol

I'd been alerted to this Citigroup news a few weeks ago. A friend of ours from playgroup works for them and was told that although he'd be safe, to prepare for some rough times. I remember when Scudder/DeutscheBank had their layoffs, I was told that I was safe as well. And I was, right up until they turned the lights off. But I eventually lost my job just like everybody else.

Oh, well. I wish him luck. Now I've got to figure out how to get the other 17,000 to BUY MY BOOK! I write from experience :).

No surprises, Leeza got kicked off. Called that one in my sleep. I expect John to go next, and then Clyde. After that it'll get interesting.

Who, exactly, are Big and Rich? Or is it Bigg? I don't really care. Man, I felt like I was losing IQ points just looking at them. Who comes in costume anymore? Which one looked dumber, the guy who looked like a 7yr old who just got a new Black Bart cowboy costume for Christmas, or the one that looked like a well-dressed hobo who just jumped off the freight train? Where was his stick with a hanky tied to it?

The one cool thing of the night was when they did "Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy" which is the song that Cheryl and Drew Lachey won with back in season 2. She even wore the same outfit, and when they were doing the same choreography I pointed this out to Kerry. Sure enough, who shows up? Drew Lachey pops up right in the middle to finish off the dance. Very cool, and not the sort of thing you ever get on American Idol.

It continues to amaze/pain me that they stretch the show out to an hour just for a 30 second payoff. At least there were no psychics this week.

I've decided that I just can't keep up with blogging every single dance and every song, so I'll do my best to recap the highlights.

This week was Paso Doble and Waltz. Apolo is up first and after some kidding around about how they're so young and he's got more of a brother/sister thing going with his partner, they kill on the dancefloor and score big numbers. Except for Len, who's having a grumpy day and says their footwork stunk. I wonder if Bruno will come up with a 10 to make up for Len's attitude, but he doesn't.

Laila and Max get a horrible song to dance a paso doble to (something classical, 1812 overture or something? I recognize it but forget the name). I actually thought the dancing itself was quite good, but they get brutalized on the score. Funniest part is how Max apologizes for screwing up the tango last week by breaking the hold. "It was a mistake," he says. Mistake? You choreographed the routine, son. You put in a part that says "Ok, here we break the hold." What you meant was "I threw it in there hoping the judges wouldn't beat on us for it, but they did."

Clyde takes a beating from the judges who tell him he's not even trying anymore. Hypocrisy from Len who says "I can forgive bad footwork" after he said the opposite to Apolo.

Leeza is not destined to do a paso doble, she simply can't pull it off. Don't feel too bad for her, though, since she's pretty much doomed to go home this week no matter how she dances. Remember, it's the size of your fanbase, not the quality of your dancing.

Heather once again comes off looking very well, and this time the judges specifically point out that it's Jonathan's choreography that deserves all the credit. The standing spin thing in particular looked very cool.

Ian was completely forgettable to me this week, and I think that's entirely because Cheryl had her hair done in a very ugly way with her bangs up out of her face. She looked like a different person, and not a prettier one.

Jon Ratzenberger's mom (91) is in the audience, but he dances so badly that the judges look him right in the eye and say "We didn't know if you were going for laughs or not." That's gotta hurt.

Billy Ray Cyrus is such a bad dancer that he made Karina cry. The judges take pity on them with a good score to make her feel better. Scenes like that make me wonder if one week we're going to pan to the audience and see Mario Lopez out there cheering her on.

And then came Joey Fatone. With "no gimmicks this week" he pulls off a paso doble to rival Drew Lachey's "Thriller" classic, including a fairly nice leap in the air, and scores the first 10 of the season. I would think that easily makes him the one to beat.

This is not American Idol, and there is no Sanjaya. I expect Leeza to be gone this week. Clyde might have gotten the lowest score, but I think the audience gets more supportive in situations where they disagree with the judges (the whole "Clyde's not even trying anymore" thing). As Leeza learned last week, it doesn't matter if she dances her best, if the audience isn't behind her, it won't help.