[BlogEntry] Death row inmate can't make a last good gesture?

Ok, somebody explain to me the logic of this decision. A Tennessee man scheduled for execution said that he did not want his final meal, and they should order a pizza and give it to a homeless person. It's unclear from the story whether he had a specific person in mind or was just saying it generically. The prison, however, won't do it. "The taxpayers don't give us permission to donate to charity," is the quote.

Lame. I always thought it had more to do with "last wish". He wants a pizza given to a homeless person. It's not like the prison itself is deciding to take his meal from him and give it to charity. It's what the guy wants. I don't understand the logic of that at all.

[BlogEntry] Scrubs Quotes : My Cold Shower

Great episode, just all around outstanding.  Some of the funniest lines of the season, from everybody.  The Friends joke was stupid, they'd been sitting on that one for years.  And I'm not really sure what's up with the ending.  Oh, and I'm sure Ken Jennings is a nice guy, but can we please not put him in a shower anymore?  He looks exactly like Rodney Dangerfield, and that man's dead. 

Update: Thanks to Rob Maschio, "The Todd" himself, for answering my question about what he'd said in response to Janitor's God is watching question.

Here come the fricks…
  Just get the motherfrickin ring on my motherfrickin finger!  Frick frick frick!

Ok Keith, sweetie, you know how I'm crazy, right?

Carla, you're in charge of the guest list.  Just make sure that all of my friends are there. Oh and Naomi that bitch from radiology. She teased me for six years about how she's gonna beat me down the aisle. Well she can suck it, her and her fat neck.

If you point out Fat Neck to me I'll keep asking her why she's single until she cries.

Sadly, it's only in the movies where the pretty girl ends up with the uggo.

You two have been on and off again more than Ross and Rachel from Friends.
  I am nothing like Ross.
    Of course not. You're Rachel.  She's Ross.

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all five.

Baby, will you do me a favor tonight that requires no effort on your part?
  Sure, what is it?
Will you have sex with me?

If you weren't emotionally ready, would you want to have sex?
  Baby I don't even understand the question!

 Darling, do you think that we're pigeonholing the children?
  Who cares, it's not like they're ours.

God is watching, how many times have you gotten laid this year?
Who'd have thought God is watching would work?

Guess it's true what they say.  First one to be in a threesome, last one to get married.
  Damn!  Sorry, she just said that she was in a threesome.

Yeah, now was it two girls and a guy, or a devil's threesome?
  All girl.
    DAMN!  Sorry.

Great Aunt Judy's arm fat.  Great Aunt Judy's arm fat.

Now are you gonna create a wonderful memory and then secretly call me from the bathroom right after, or what?

Mrs Sheldon, can I just say I hope I look as good as you when I'm eighty.
  I'm sixty eight.
Did they not have sunscreen where you grew up?

So I convinced the bartender to give us all the booze at your party for half price.  Little hitch, you're gonna have to show some boob.  Apparently mine did not get us all the way there.  He has a soft touch, though.

But, home is where your hat is.  That's what my dad used to always say.  He would also say that America was a planet.  He was in a boating accident and suffered some brain damage.
  Brain damage is, uh, rarely good.

Greetings, strange traveler.  Wilst thou mate with me tonight?
  All right.  Not really sure how I'd go about doing that, I mean, where would I put my…
    Come on dog, this is a desperate mermaid, ya got to hit that!
  Show me where, GoaTurk, and I'd be happy to.  Where's the front door?
Yeah, that's a gill.
    Yeah it is.
  Hey GoaTurk, that's my mermaid!
    My baaaaaaaad.

Well schnookums, I'm first going to check out the market, then play a few holes of golf, and then pretend to care about underprivileged people.  You know, the usual.

I'm so hard up I'm fantasizing about having sex with my own wife!  It ain't right!

The damned internet is down, where am I supposed to go for sexual gratification?  My invalid wife?

(Next stop, BoobTown.  Population two.)
  Whoa, you can't go to BoobTown!  That, my friend, is a gated community.

Old people sex is disgusting.
  Really?  Because from time to time I like to throw back a few "blue bombers" and head out on the town.

I will have you all know that just this morning I hoisted Enid onto the safety rail in our kitchen and we went at it like drunk monkeys.  That's right!  Now just soak in that image for awhile.

We look nothing alike!  What are you, Egyptian? I don't want to hear it.

You're gonna need to tell them to slip on a love glove if they're gonna all freaky and doink. But don't use those words, they won't know what you're talking about.

Can you control yourself?
  Of course I can.
    God is watching.
  I can't.
    Who is this God everyone fears?

He doesn't even have any laughter in his eyes, like, at all!

As I looked at all the relationships around me – some that had gone on forever, some that were re-ignited, and some that had just begun – I realized something: it should have been me.

More Scrubs Quotes


[BlogEntry] Dancing with the Stars May 8, 2007 : Who Got Kicked Off?

As we wind these shows down to the big finale, it's almost not worth recapping every little instance. The highlight this week should have been the presence of Muhammad Ali to cheer on his daughter Laila, but they really didn't make that much of a deal about it. Probably because the man can barely stand any longer. Billy Ray was the most excited of all, running over to shake his hand during the middle of a performance.

The other big note was Bruno calling Billy Ray's performance crap. That pissed him off like I've never seen before. Billy Ray's got a good point, that is pretty rude. Karina said it best, "Every week I tell Billy Ray to take what the judges say, and try to work on something to improve on the next time. But what can you do with crap?"

It's apparently an omen, however, as Billy Ray finally goes home. It was a little scary there when Joey, rather than Ian, also made it to the bottom two. What does that say about the fanbase? I thought for sure that Ian would be the next one (after Billy Ray). Maybe Cheryl's got the fanbase to carry them both.

Oh, and how weird did Nellie Furtado sound? I always thought she was nasal, but it sounded like she was doing a satire of herself tonight. Yuck.

[BlogEntry] How To Be A Great Dad

Nope, not something I wrote, something I'm linking to. Perhaps even more interesting than the article itself is the political correctness battle being waged in the comments. How DARE he say that dad should help out mom, what's he from the 1950's? Doesn't he know that all households require that both parents share all housework equally at all times? And god help him for saying that when Dad has the kids it's "babysitting". Duck, man, duck!

The list, though, is a good one and worth reading. People say "obvious", but as a general rule, people *always* say that whenever somebody makes a list.

If I had to add one it would be, "If you want a job for your children done right, do it yourself." I painted both my daughters' bedrooms, as well as the footstools they use to climb into bed (my dad made the stools themselves). I could have bought something, or hired someone. I didn't. Not because I'm cheap, and certainly not because I like to paint. And by "right" I don't mean that the quality of my paint job was better than a professional. I mean that these were things for my children, and I did them myself rather than throwing some money at the problem and having a stranger do it. Maybe it's a silly little thing, but it's important to me because I think it's important to them.

[Comment] Re: American Idol : Lyrics to Home, by Chris Daughtry

Yes it is available on iTunes for download:


[BlogEntry] Correcting Daddy, Very Politely

This weekend we got the kids to a carnival that included a magic show. During the show the magician pulled up a little boy on stage who clearly didn't want to be there, and then proceeded to put a pigeon on his head. Pigeon proceeds to go to the bathroom on the boy's head. Later they bring out a giant bunny rabbit, and before the boy can reach out to pet him, the rabbit pees all over the boy. Kid's having a tough day.

Later in car ride home:

"Daddy, wasn't it funny when the bunny peed on the boy?"

"It was funny. And when he got pooped on, too."

[pause] "I think it was pee, Daddy."

"Right, but remember the pigeon? The pigeon pooped on him."

[much longer pause, so much so that I think we're on to a new topic] "Daddy?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"I know that sometimes my brain forgets things, but I'm pretty sure it was a bunny."